False Beliefs I am Trying to Get Away From (and Yellowstone Day 4)

I want to write this post about the changes I've been trying to make as a result of reading the book More than Happy: The wisdom of Amish Parenting, but I kind of feel like I need to be much better at it before I can say anything... I realized a couple of days ago that I haven't been seeking Christ's enabling power as much as I ought.  That never goes very well... on my own I lack will-power and ability - I am so easily distracted and weak.

I'm not trying to put myself down. It's just part of human nature and being on this Earth... I get comfortable and then distracted and lazy until I realize things I value most are stating to unravel - and I "wake up" and remember how much I need God CONSISTENTLY,  and I seek for His help and try again.

The last couple days I've been trying to get out of my slump and try again, but the bad habits I slipped into in my distracted state get in my way. I've been staying up too late and going a little over my 20 minutes of screen time on screen free month! It's easy to do that when I'm tired.

I want to do better today, but I've been a little sick and really tired. But I guess that can't stop me from doing my best under the circumstances. It's goal setting time again. But most importantly, it's time to better seek God's strength again.

So back to the book and what I'm imperfectly trying to do... one thing I love about learning of other cultures is that it helps me look at mine from an outside perspective and see where I may be perpetuating false beliefs... such as some of the following:

False beliefs:
Pursue your passion and live your dream.  It is a selfish mindset.  Instead I want us to focus on following promptings and serving each day. That will inevitably lead us to our talents and our unique way of blessing the world anyway.

Get an education so you can have a good job . I realized this was inadequate long ago, but it is such a prevalent teaching in our culture. I want to be sure to teach my kids often that we work for an education in order to better serve God. Not for money.

Men are defined by their careers. Instead, I want to teach my sons to seek meaningful work that will allow them time to be with their families as much as possible. Fatherhood is their most important work.

One should apologize for a messy house or for not being prefect. Accept I'm doing the best I can and don't apologize that it's not good enough. Because it is good enough.

A good parent will put their children in  whatever sports and classes they express interest in just in case they will excel at it. Children need to learn to sacrifice their wants sometimes for the good of the family. It is an important parenting skill. They will be happier, more centered people if we teach them to make family a priority. Before signing my kids up for anything next year I want to ask myself if the sacrifice is good for the family or if it will draw us apart.

Teaching children to obey breaks their Spirit and doesn't teach them to think for themselves. I could write a lot on this one, but I'll  just say that children feel safer in boundaries. Safety is essential for them to thrive and reach their potential. Children will try to test the boundaries. Once they see the boundaries are safely in place, they can focus on learning and growth. If the boundaries are always changing and different - they feel a need to test them often to see where they are each day.

The Amish believe that voluntary submission is essential to real happiness. We do our children a great disservice when we fail to teach them the beauty of submission to a wiser power. It is important that our family standards are in alignment to God's standards (or natural law) because children should be able to trust that when they obey their parents they are also obeying God. If our standards are different than God's standards - we do our children a great disservice in making them choose between us and God. But if we are doing our best to do His will, our children will want to follow our lead and will learn the joy of obedience and submission in their family environment.

My goals this week:
1. More sincere prayers - enlist God's help with all my goals consistently.
2. Get to bed by 10 unless we are having a family activity
3. Keep the screen time rules
4. Pre-teach clear obedience standards and skills often. Follow through quickly with consequences and don't keep giving kids "one more chance" or counting in hopes they'll obey.

 So simple. And yet so hard! I feel silly saying it's hard when so many are going through so many difficult things, but I am where I'm at and it's pretty hard for me. But I do know I can do hard things with Heaven's help. I've seen this time and time again. It's just easy to forget.

More pictures from Yellowstone Day 4 (where we weren't actually in Yellowstone, but just outside of it)