Evolution, Israel-Palestine Conflict, Joy's Birthday and Pictures

Awesome Scientists:
One thing I would really like my kids to know before they leave my home is that science is a useful way to discover truth, but that it has limitations - and that many things that are presented as fact or as indisputable in school are in fact theories and much of the evidence is disputable and even purposely misleading.

There are two viewpoints in science: things were created by intelligent design or things created themselves spontaneously from natural selection. If there is intelligent design, we are referring to some type of God - and we can't have God in school these days - so the only view point presented to our children is spontaneous natural selection.

I want my kids to understand the limitations of this perspective and to be able to refute it, not only with faith,  but also with science.

My friends Sara approached a scientist after one of his presentations on a topic like this and asked if he'd be willing to teach classes to homeschooled youth. He really wants to get this message out so that people have a more balanced perspective (it is so one-sided at school) and agreed to help her. He also wanted to get other scientists involved and to teach a larger audience. He asked Sara to help him. Sara invited me to the meetings they have had (it was a little intimidating to be at Dennys eating lunch with all these genius scientists who are so passionate about science and sharing truth). I want to go read all of their books!

I am excited to help in their endeavor.  They are having an information meeting on September 9th for those who'd like to be involved in these classes they want to make available. They should be amazing. I have been so inspired by their passion and knowledge.

Guest Speaker
I was able to get a Palestinian guest speaker, Sahar, to come tell us about growing up in the middle of the conflict between Palestine and Israel. She had an incredible story of faith, perseverance and forgiveness. It was also really sad to learn about how inhumanely the Palestinians are being treated by Israel and how we as Americans are helping to fund a government that is treating people so terribly. As I learn about the Zionist movement, I am begining to think that it is Satan's counterfeit for bringing about Zion. They are trying to establish a Jewish state through force, oppression, hate, violence and lies. Zion will come into being in oppostite ways: compassion, agency, peace and love. That is not something Sahar said, it is just a personal opinion.  Here is her inspiring presentation:

https://youtu.be/2287lCG8ync

She stayed at our house that night and the next day she gave my kids a bag full of fun little toys for them. She was so kind and sweet.

Hiking Budy
I have been wanting to take advantage of the nice weather lately to go enjoy nature.  So I say to my family, "It is a beautiful day! I have to go on a hike! Who wants to go with me??" So far, Cassia is the only one who is as enthusiastic as me to go - so she's been my hiking budy. Maybe someday the rest of my kids will enjoy it as much as we do!

Me going to go play in the waterfall

Cassia in front of the waterfall

Cassia way above the waterfall

View From the inside of the waterfall

View from above the waterfall

Different hike... sitting on the U in Uintah. I'm pretty sure we trespassed to get there - I wonder if there's an actual trail to it somehow... we had no idea what we were doing!

View from the top of the view

On our way back

Joy's Birthday

Joy is 3! We had grandparents over on her birthday and she opened presents.

The next day we invited friends to the park and then to a hot dog/s'more campfire party. Joy got all sticky with her friend so they got all clean together and fell asleep. They are such cute buddies.

Showing her Birthday Presents

Cake



And more presents

At the park...I have the most awesome kids

Waiting for friends to arrive

Trampoline Time after eating hot dogs

Watching a funny video while eating s'mores

Getting Clean After S'mores

Friends went home. And as usual, she ended up on our bed. Sleeping sideways like she likes to do!

Joy is a ray of sunshine in our home. She is always singing, dancing and making life fun. Well, almost always... she does have her grumpy moments, but they are rare and she recovers pretty quickly. James loves nothing more than making her smile and laugh and is constantly trying to get "huggies" (hugs) from her. She runs and laughs with her 2 next older brothers most of the day. Dallin spoils her and she goes to him when she is sad and needs someone to help her. Jessalyn dresses her up, paints her nails and does her hair. William teases her, but she is starting to see that it's his way of showing love. She loves and admires Cassia, and Cassia enjoys her cuteness and laughs at her funny ways. We are all so blessed to have her in our family.

When I write posts like this, I remember how good life is and how blessed we are. We are experiencing a lot of transition lately and it's easy to get bogged down by to-dos and how to-dos, but it is so good to write a little, step back and remember how good things are and what a blessed life we live. Things always work out for the best, so no need to wonder about the future! It is wonderful to just be thankful for the present. 

Digging Out of Overwhelmed, Happy Birthday James! (and pictures from the weekend)

Morning hike on Friday

A friend of mine recently realized that I was feeling overwhelmed. I haven't talked to her about this so I guess my posts have given it away :-)

I was glad she brought it up because it is true. And"overwhelm" is my biggest trigger emotion for wasting time and getting distracted. I want to run away mentally from all I have to do. And I feel guilty for being lazy.

The hike goes to a fun rope swing

It's largely this moving thing. I wasted much of last summer thinking I was moving too and feeling overwhelmed by it. Except this time I really am, but the new house won't be  ready until winter,  but we want to sell while houses are selling.. I didn't have time to do all I wanted to do with my day before this choice - and now I have to add getting the house ready to the list. And it's so boring, and I get constant interruptions, and I can't do as much as I'd like each day, and I'm neglecting the teaching of my children, and there are so many better things I'd rather do - like be in nature with my kids, read and study, write, create, learn, dance, play, be with friends.

I also feel terribly sad that were moving in a lot of ways (Even though it's good too). I have a heartache through the day that makes me feel heavy. While being with my friends makes me feel light and joyful. So then I choose to go out as much as possible.

I tried really hard yesterday to work up the desire to get my house ready. I kept thinking that if I just start, I would catch the motivation and desire to keep going, but I didn't catch it. I felt heavy and sad the whole time.  Each task dragged.

And the kids aren't working as hard as they could either. So it's deflating to see them getting distracted too. It's my fault - I'm beeing a bad example and also not following through with consequences for not doing a job or not doing it well. Doing all that teaching takes time.

I'm not enjoying my kids like I was before this choice to move.   Joy asks me to dance with her and I can do it for a few minutes before I feel I have to get back to all I have to do. James aks me to watch him do a trick outside and I'm watching and wishing he'd  hurry so I can get back to work. And then I go back to work, look around and distract myself with Facebook for a bit because I so don't want to do all there is to do.  My actions are not aligning with my values.

One good thing about distracting myself with Facebook yesterday though, is that I have good friends who say inspiring things.  From Mary:

Isn't that beautiful? It requires a bit of faith that doing what God asks me to do will give me what I seek as well, but I do know from experience that it is true. Do I know it enough to act on it? Or do I sacrifice it for what I want to distract myself with at the moment to run away from my tasks?

And I saw this from Sara:

Learn to be content with what we are.  I have had a hard time sleeping lately (I'm writing this at 3am... I'll write until I'm tired and I'll finish later this morning). Monday I was functioning on under 4 hours of sleep. And I still expected so much of myself. What if the insomnia is a tool to help me slow down? To accept that I can't do everything and to lower my expectations and enjoy things a little more?

Game night after the hike

What if I just wrote 5 priorities for the day each morning - things that align with my values about what really matters? And then enjoyed them? Because building relationships would be among them and I love building relationships.  Drawing closer to God and seeking His will would be on the list and I love doing that. Creating an inspiring environment for the kids would be on there...and creating something of worth to uplift those around me.  So would taking care of my body. All those things I value and love doing.

Now that I'm remembering the "why" I'm feeling that desire again that I've been missing. It's so important for me to mediate on my "why" everyday. And to take tasks off my list with less important "why's"

I talked to another friend last night after our Speech and Debate class. She reminded me that we need each other and we need to make friendship a priority in our busy lives. Community is so important. Even though we're moving, relationships can continue. Especially in our high tech world.

Thank-you to my inspiring friends for the reminders! I am so blessed to have living angels I can talk with. You are such a treasure to me.

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James turned 5 yesterday. We have several people in our family gone this week so we mostly celebrated on Sunday, and others in my family took most of those pictures, but we did go to Layton Family Fun Center yesterday for some bouncy time he asked for.

James has a sweet, sensitive spirit. His smile warms up any heart. He feels intensely - love, frustration, joy, anger, compassion... I know that as he learns to channel these strong emotions for good, he will be powerful in touching hearts.

I love his hugs,  the mommy cuddles he asks for every night, his thoughtful gaze as he tries to figure things out and explain his findings.

Common conversations:
James: Mom,  can I have mommy cuddles?
Me: Sure! What song can I sing you?
James: Twinkle, Twinkle and Rainbow song.
Me: Okay,  twinkle, twinkle little...(confused look on my face)
James: STAR!
Me: How I wonder what.... you....
James: ARE!
Etc... he just loves the feeling of knowing the right answer and he loves this pretending that he's helping me out.

Or:
"Mom, do you know what 42 plus 42 is?"
"Yeah, it's 84"
"How did you know that?! Do you know what's 34 plus 34?"
"What is it?"
"It's 68! You know how I know that?"
"How?"
"Because I do know it."

He loves walking around with a calculator memorizing math facts. He also loves to read the words he sees around him and the books Bill gets for Joshua at the library in hopes that Joshua will be inspired to practice reading too. Those two have very different personalities!

He has a sweet relationship with Joy. They look out for each other. If one of them is sad, the other is sure to be there to comfort, hug and defend. Joy can calm him down like no one else can.

I am so very blessed that James came to our family 5 years ago. We sure love that little boy!

Our New Arrival and His Birth Story

Our baby boy was born at home on Tuesday at 5:15am.  He weighed 8 lbs 2 oz and was 21 inches tall.

He is very sweet and alert. He loves to look around and watch people's faces. He found his fist soon after he was born and is often sucking on it. He sucks on everything that gets near his mouth. Spice was like that - she had a need to be sucking on something all of the time. Needless to say, she got pretty fat really fast. I think this baby will be similar. He even looks just like she did as a new born. We were surprised by his weight. My babies have weighed (in this order): 7 lbs, 5 lbs 7oz, 6 lbs 10 oz, 6 lbs 4 oz, and 6 lbs 15 oz. And supposedly Ray was about 5 days "late" and this baby was 3 days "early". He is so cute and chubby.

Here is his birth story (don't read it if birth stories make you squeamish):

Monday was a beautiful day so the kids and I walked to the park in the morning.  It kind of wore me out so we took it pretty easy the rest of the day.  For Family Home Evening, Rock taught a lesson on talents and then we ate ice cream sandwiches.  We got ready for bed and I got to sleep around 10pm.

At 1:20am, I got up to use the bathroom.  I noticed some blood and I wondered if I was going into labor.  I was having contractions, but they were not too strong.  I decided to go find my swimming suit just in case (I was planning on a water birth).  By the time I found it, I was pretty sure that these were real labor contractions so I called my mom at 1:30.  I wanted to give her ample time to get ready and to take her time on her hour drive.  I sent a text message to my midwife around 1:45.  She called me back (that is when Rock woke up) and told me some good positions to get into in order for the baby to be facing the right way (all of my babies have been posterior).  I told her I'd call her back when things got more intense.

Rock got up and started figuring out how to set up the birthing tub that the midwife had left at our house.  I focused on staying relaxed through the contractions.  I looked at my clock.  It was 2am.  I decided I would call the midwife back around 3am because I was pretty sure this baby would be born around 5am.  I put on a relaxation CD on my iphone (hypnobirthing's "Rainbow Relaxation") and focused on relaxing through the contractions some more.  I found hypnobirthing very helpful.  I felt very in control and relaxed.  At 3am the tub was ready and I was ready to get into it.  My mom arrived, I called the midwife, I breathed through 3 more contractions and then I got into the tub.  The water felt so good and it really helped my body relax even more.

I kept listening to some hypnobirthing birth affirmations on my iphone and focusing on staying relaxed through the contractions.  Heather (the midwife) arrived around 3:30am.  My contractions were pretty steady 5 minutes apart except for an occasional one that would slip in around 2 1/2 minutes apart.  I could tell I was getting ready to go into transition when my contractions started having a double peak and getting longer and I asked Heather to check me.  It was 4:15 and I was 6cm dilated.  Things got a little more intense after that.  I threw up a couple of times (sorry for the graphic details!)  and I kept trying to relax through the contractions.  I was still able to focus and breathe through them until about 4:45. 

That's when the contractions got really weird and it seemed that they were not going away.  I thought one was passing, but then it wouldn't and I wasn't sure if I should breathe or push or what was going on.  Heather noticed and she told me to try pushing because it might help me feel better.  I did try, but I just felt an awful lot of pressure on my back.  I was disappointed because with my other babies - pushing did feel better so I was hoping it would bring some relief, but it didn't.

My water had not yet broken so Heather said I could reach in and pop it if I wanted to, or that she could pop it, or that I could just keep pushing until it popped on it's own.  She said breaking it might help him out so I asked her to break it for me.  I had a contraction that seemed to last for like 10 minutes and I think I said that I couldn't do it a couple of times through it.  Heather helped me know how to breathe and then towards the end of the super long contraction I felt it was coming to a peak again so I started to push.  Heather asked, "Is the baby coming?"  I nodded and pushed and felt him coming down and out.  She caught him under the water and brought him up to me.  What an incredible feeling.  Relief, gratitude, love, amazement and awe.  There's nothing like it in the world.

Rock and my mom were pretty surprised when they saw him.  They hadn't realized I had actually started pushing since it all happened so fast.  Rock came up, kissed my forehead and asked me how I felt.  I said, "Wonderful."  He was so peaceful and just looked around.  He cried for a second when Heather suctioned his nose (since there was a little meconium in the water), but he calmed right down and looked around again.  They took some pictures and I asked Rock to get the kids.  He woke the kids up and they came out to meet their new baby brother.  They said, "Really?  He's already born?"  They came in my room (I was still holding the baby in the tub) and they reverently watched.  The whole experience just felt so miraculous and reverent.  The lights were dim and we talked in soft voices. 

Heather enlisted the kids' help and they helped her get pillows and warm up some towels.  She showed them the placenta when it came out and explained to them where the bag was that the baby was in.  They thought it was pretty amazing. 

I stayed in the water and held him and nursed him.  After an hour or so, I got out, Rock took the baby and I got dry clothes on and got in bed.  I nursed him some more and then Heather came over to check him out.  Rock asked Bud if he wanted to cut the cord (they had wrapped the placenta in a big absorbent pad and put it in a plastic bag so that they didn't have to cut the cord right away - it's better for the baby).

That was the only other time I remember him briefly crying.  He was pretty happy the whole time.  I took a shower while everyone took turns holding him.

Heather and her assistant packed up their 10 bags of supplies that, thankfully, they didn't have to use.  She checked me over one more time and then they left. 

My mom and the kids brought me some breakfast and then I just got to rest with my baby.  I loved that I didn't have any nurses coming in to take the baby to do this or that test on him (Heather did come back 4 days later to check his hearing, do the PKU test and look him over).  I loved that there were no nurses waking me up every couple of hours to push on my stomach to make sure my uterus was contracting (Heather taught me some warning signs and how to check it myself if I was concerned).  It was such a peaceful time with just my baby and my family.

My mom's mom died in childbirth, so my mom was very nervous about my having this baby at home.  After the experience, though, she said, "I don't think you're crazy anymore.  That was really beautiful."  It was beautiful.  I did miss two things about the hospital though.  One was the rolling food tray.  That was convenient to eat on.  I can't remember what the other thing I thought of was.  Maybe I'll fill it in later if I remember.  If my mom and husband hadn't been here to take care of me I think I would have missed the three hospital meals, the clean sheets and clothes, and the time of being (sort of) alone, but since I got all of that with their help, I felt very blessed and happy.  

He's been with us for five days now and is doing really well.  I've been resting and getting pampered by my mom and husband and kids.  I'm nervous about when my mom leaves.  I can't fathom doing it all on my own right now.  It seems impossible, but I'm sure it will all work out somehow.  There's something incredibly humbling about looking into a newborn's eyes and realizing how very unqualified you are for the responsibility.  It's rather terrifying actually.  I am just grateful that I'm not supposed to do it alone and that Heavenly Father will help me as much as I will allow Him to.  I am motivated to give it my all.  As soon as I can manage to get out of bed for longer than a few minutes!