Plays and Movies and Fun

As I keep making changes, I find more and more things that I want to improve.  Remember the project room I posted about on Sunday?  I'll be tackling that one next (once I get over the initial shock of clearing out the toys), there are plenty of things we don't need in there.  A lot of the clothes are gone.  I'll be going through the games as well.  Games are hard for me - so are books.  I'll save the books for last.  I'll keep only the ones worth reading again and again.

I loved what Julie B. Beck said during the last LDS general conference:

"There is much distraction and not enough peace and joy [in our lives]...Being in the right places allows us to receive guidance. It requires a conscious effort to diminish distractions, but having the Spirit of revelation makes it possible to prevail over opposition and persist in faith through difficult days and essential routine tasks. Personal revelation gives us the understanding of what to do every day..."

She quoted Eliza R. Snow:

 "...and the greatest good we can do to ourselves and each other is to refine and cultivate ourselves in everything that is good and ennobling to qualify us for those responsibilities."

Diminished distractions - peace and joy - understanding - refinement - that is what I am working to create in my home.

My friend, Lara, recently recommended an article.  It's called Our Refined Heavenly Home by Douglas L. Callister.  Have you ever read it?  I read it about a year ago and I loved it then.  I printed it off and read parts of it to my kids and husband so that they could get a vision of what our home could be like.

I reread it yesterday and I loved it even more this time around!  It's going on my list of talks to read over and over.  It reaffirmed that we are doing the right thing in our home by getting rid of distractions and seeking things of higher worth.  I love reading the comments on here about the changes others are making as well.

But what about just plain fun?  Isn't it okay to have things in our home that are solely for entertainment and fun?  Does everything have to have a purpose?

The fact is that everything does serve a purpose - whether we recognize it or not.  Everything that we do brings us closer to truth or distracts us away from it.  Some activities can do either, depending on the state of our heart.  Recreation has a purpose.  Is what we are choosing to do for fun distracting us from God or leading us closer to Him?

If it is distracting us, then it is a fleeting "fun" that will whisk us away momentarily from the joyful path we could be on and drop us further away from it.  Then we have to try to get back on it or find another distraction to make us forget that we are so far from where we want to be.  How exhausting.

If we are choosing fun, or entertainment, that leads us closer to truth, closer to God, then we are living in true joy consistently, basking in light, and feeling real feelings that are so much deeper and richer than the fleeting, fake, so-called fun.

I like what Lara said about it on a recent post:

"The difference between art and entertainment is that art strives to interpret God and entertainment merely over stimulates and deadens true feeling, just like candy will deaden your taste for real food.  One is nourishing and one is not."

The experience we've had with plays and movies (not all plays are good or all movies bad -just stay with me), illustrates what I mean.

We went to several plays recently.  We saw The Taming of the Shrew, A Little Princess, and Les Miserables.  Rock and I also saw some movies in between the play-going.  We saw The Proposal, New Moon and Avatar.  Maybe the contrast between the plays and the movies wouldn't have hit me so strongly if the movies hadn't been what they were, but nevertheless, the contrast hit me pretty strongly.

To be honest, I was almost insulted as I watched The Proposal.  "Really?"  I wondered, "Do our film writers really think so low of us that they would expect us to think all of these lame jokes are funny?" New Moon wasn't quite as silly as The Proposal, but pretty silly nonetheless.  Avatar was a little better - it was very pretty and it made me want to go and do something, I just can't remember what it was...

I really enjoyed the plays.  "What was the difference?" I asked myself, "Both of them were made to entertain me.  We saw both for fun.  Why did one succeed so much better than the other? " I came up with several things.

Plays:


After seeing the Little Princess, the children and I were inspired to be better people.  It probably had a lot to do with the fact that we had read the book so we had assimilated the meaning behind the play and the play reaffirmed what we had learned.  It was specially good for Bud because we had the following conversation that morning after he had "tackled" his younger sister (yet again):

I gave him the usual shpill about how boys don't hit girls.  He, again, replied that it wasn't fair.  I asked:
"Bud, you know how you like to play with guns and swords?"
"Yes."
"You know that Heavenly Father gave you big muscles and fast legs?"
"Yes."
"Girls are not usually as strong as boys and they don't like to play the rough games as much as boys.  Have you noticed that?"
"Yeah."
"Can you think why that might be?"
"No, how come?"
"Heavenly Father made boys like that so that they could protect the ladies, the older people and babies....  Do you think He would like it if you used those muscles to hurt them?"
A look of understanding lit up his face, "No!"

We then went to see the Little Princess and we talked about how special Heavenly Father's little daughters are.

We did not read The Taming of the Shrew before we went, but we did read the children's version.  I don't think the kids got too much out of it, except some comic relief since they understood the storyline.  I also didn't get as much as I could have, but there were several lines that made me pause and consider.  I had to look inward to see where I stood.  I had to evaluate my beliefs.  Every time I do that, I am changed.  I'm sure there would have been many more lines like that if I had made the effort to read it ahead of time.

We listened to the entire play of Les Miserables before we went to see it.  I explained the history to the kids, we talked about the different personalities in the play and what kind of characters they had.  We had SO many great discussions about life, the impact that one good person can make on so many, what really makes a person good or bad, judging, I could go on and on.

The children loved the play.  Bud has listened to it many times since.  I like that he is hearing powerful and beautiful language, but it's a little too much thrill for not much effort.  I'm having to set limits on listening to Les Miserables now 8)  Rock was a little concerned about his son walking around singing "show tunes", but I assured him that he wouldn't like it quite as much if it weren't for all of the war :-)

Movies:


I've seen good movies that make me feel like I want to be better.  I must admit that they are rare, but they are out there.  I wonder how long their impact lasts.  I wonder if I paused the movie pretty often and encouraged discussion if the impact could be greater.  I would probably just end up with a frustrated family though :-)  When I read something, the thoughts and emotions are slowly assimilated into my mind.  I get the opportunity to evaluate my opinions and shift my perspective.  Plus, I am able to stop and think and ponder.  I change.  That is much harder to do with a movie.  The emotions and thoughts come so quickly that I hardly have time to process them before they are gone.  I like this quote from Keri's (author of the headgates ebook) Q&A site:

"We would rather sit down to a great book than a movie because the movie evokes no lasting change in us. It just gives us a quick story that feels powerful and lasting, but because its plot and teachings do not escort our current beliefs and paradigms into unknown territory, no lasting change ever occurs. In order to really experience lasting growth, we must consider new ideas that we have not hitherto considered, and then discuss them with friends and family. Once solidified we write our new beliefs down in our journals to document the process and the growth.

If you have read TJed, you will recognize this as "read, write and discuss" in the scholar model. This process is so delicious to the whole soul, that once you taste it, movies just become second-rate. When this happens to the parents, it is not hard to decide about movies for the kids because your example rubs off on them naturally. They do not see you saving movies up for a "special treat" that they only get to have semi annually. This would make movies seem like they are extremely special, almost like Christmas."

Maybe that is what is happening - maybe movies are becoming second rate.  Or maybe I just saw three really bad movies :-)

I am learning something though - a refined home has the BEST in "fun", it is simple and pure and lasting.  I would caution people to be careful though... I am starting to find that once you taste of it, the rest really does become second-rate.