Not too long ago, I would have thought such statements sounded prudish and too serious. I'm wondering if those of you who read my post agree with what I said, or if you are too polite to tell me that you think I've gone off the deep end, or at least that I'm getting a little far-fetched...
I've been having debates in my head about this (don't you debate with yourself in your free time?), but I keep coming to the same conclusion. Namely, what I said before, which is this:
If [recreation or entertainment] is distracting us, then it is a fleeting "fun" that will whisk us away momentarily from the joyful path we could be on, and drop us further away from it. Then we have to try to get back on it, or find another distraction to make us forget that we are so far from where we want to be. How exhausting.I'm wondering what people think of this. I think it must be true because I have never been more at peace with my family and home since I decided to get rid of distractions in my house and in my life. My kids are also so much more at peace, so kind and obedient (yes, they still have their "moments"- we all do). Everything feels more real, including our relationships.
If we are choosing fun, or entertainment, that leads us closer to truth, closer to God, then we are living in true joy consistently, basking in light, and feeling real feelings that are so much deeper and richer than the fleeting, fake, so-called fun.
What do you think? Are there things that you think are distractions, but still worth your time? I'm still watching Lost until the end of the season (we watch it online) - I have to admit that I like it and it does make me think. Honestly, though, I wouldn't say it leaves me feeling joyful and happy like so many other things in my life are doing. I think I'm done with TV shows.... at least as soon as Lost is finished :-)
Funny you mention "Lost." Just yesterday, I said to myself: As soon as Lost is over, I'm done with TV. We watch Lost and Medium. One is ending and the other is sure to be canceled soon.
ReplyDeleteAs a family, we watch America's Funniest Home Videos on Friday nights for an hour and episodes of Brady Bunch once or twice a month. Those are two that may be distractions, but are so much fun for the good clean belly laughs (AFV) that have led my kids to look for humor in the everyday mishaps of our own family life, and the cute life lessons that Brady Bunch offers.
As for movies, I can't say that they are all useless distractions. I have seen some pretty powerful movies in my life that have led me, and family members to change in important ways- if not have a desire to change. I hope to always be careful not to lump all media into one negative category- technology is as much of a blessing as it is a curse in my opinion. I want to sift away the curses and take full advantage of the blessings.
And yes, I constantly debate in my head...
I am cracking up because I am yet another person who is only watching tv until Lost is done. I dropped all my other shows on Hulu (we don't get tv in the home).
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing that technology talk in last month's Ensign hit us all pretty hard because we've been thinking a lot about distractions too. I think they have their place, like a vacation, but no one goes on vacation everyday.
But since we have been eliminating distractions and trying to simplify our lives, our family has also been much happier.
I just found your blog thru Lara's and haven't had time yet to read as much as I'd like.
ReplyDeleteI don't watch tv and very few movies. Not that I'm against it, but I don't have time, and really don't miss it.
I'm not sure yet what changes I'd like to make. Some seem way too extreme for where I'm at now.
But just wondering if your dh was always on board? Or if you have any ideas on how to make changes with a very reluctant dh?
jay and I have been having serious debates over the Headgates issues. His whole worry is that it will be like those parents who never let their kids eat any sugar or treats whatsoever. Then at family parties or church activities or where ever they might be, they see the sugary desserts and treats and gorge themselves until they are truly sick (we seriously LIMIT sugar and our kids already do this). Or when they are offered a treat and they want it so badly that they sneak it without their parents knowing because they are afraid their parents will not approve. He's worried that if we deprive them of any and all entertainment that as soon as they are in a situation where it's available they will over stimulate and see what they've been missing and go off the deep end. Let's face it, we all like entertainment of some sort. You like Lost, I like to watch, silly as it may sound, The Biggest Loser. I have said the same thing, as soon as this season is over I will stop watching. What do you think about this theory? We need to talk in person. Jay has not read the article yet so I told him I was done talking about it until he reads it.
ReplyDeleteTricia - you're right, I just added a most in front of movies. I have seen some good movies as well. I remember loving the Brady Bunch! There's not much entertainment like that anymore is there? It's crazy how fast and drastically the media has changed.
ReplyDeleteAndrea - my husband isn't always on board right away with some of the changes. I'm constantly trying to improve our home environment and reading and thinking about it. He is so busy with providing for us to have enough time to do the same, so sometimes some of the things I spring up on him seem a little crazy. I don't ever push him into thinking what I think. I make the changes myself (as far as I am able) and he has seen so much good come of it that he is on board with much of it now.
I have learned a lot about this from talking to Lara. She and I disagree on a couple of minor details, but the principles are sound. I bet she has thought of writing about it, but is afraid she will offend people. I bet she'll write about it soon anyway :-) I'll write a little more about my thoughts on this topic too.
Sarah-
ReplyDeleteI had the same worries that Jay has at first. That's kind of what I talk about on my post "A New Level of Awareness" a few days ago. I have realized that the more I fill my life with true happiness - the other stuff just doesn't compare. I don't know why it wouldn't be the same for my children.
A couple of weeks ago, the kids were watching a movie with their dad. I went downstairs to sit with them, while I fed the baby before I left. I was thinking the movie was pretty silly and I looked over at Spice and she looked at me with a look on her face that said, "This is kind of lame". I felt so glad that she had been so exposed to real things lately that she is starting to recognize the difference between good entertainment (or art) and the silly distracting type.
We do need to get together soon. I'm glad the weather is getting nicer so we can go to the park again!
You're obviously not asking MY opinion since we all know I have already gone off the deep end. Ha!
ReplyDeleteIf it's warm next Tuesday let's do park day. Unless it's too distracting and entertaining that is!
Karen ,
ReplyDeleteI don't think you are "going of the deep end". With that said your way of doing things usually isn't for me :D And each of us have our own way of doing things that work for our families best.
You are a wonderful Mother and your children are incredible. So, you are definitely doing things right. I admire you greatly for all that you are teaching them.
We enjoy watching movies with our kids. I agree that we should try and do things that keep us close to our Heavenly Father. But I do not agree with eliminating all fun entertainment. I think my kids; the ones who are old enough; are aware of what is good for them and what is not; to an extent. I feel they have a great deal of compassion for other people and love for Christ that "fun" is not taking away.
I do think that less TV time is best. I like for my kids to play outside and use their imaginations as often as they can. But don't think movies or other "fun" things are bad for them or stopping them from being good people.
I think whatever you are comfortable with as a family and works good for you guys is what you should do.
I love you, Karen! You are amazing!!
i think you're right on. when i was reading your post it just resonated with me, as do lara's posts. i think our society is so full of fun and entertainment that it's become accepted as the norm, but, like you said, it is getting us off the track from where we should be headed. slowly but surely we are being led astray. i think the feeling of peace you have confirms your choices. keep going and keep sharing!
ReplyDeleteKaren,
ReplyDeleteI haven't commented on your blog yet, I am the one that introduced myself at the TJed forum. I have enjoyed reading your blog since then, along with Lara's and all of the FAQ's on the headgates website. I feel that we are really heading down a great path as we make all of these changes along with all of you. And that is one of the best part about all of yours and Lara's and other's blogs, is that I don't feel so alone in our "off the deep endness". It is nice to feel verified in making these changes. So thank you to everybody for all your courage and examples and for posting about your lives.
You mentioned park day. Do you all live in Utah county? I would love to get together with this group as it is more like what we are doing at our home than any other group of people that I currently know.
Angie
I had intended to comment on distractions, but I just have to address the sugar tie-in first. My MIL gave this same argument when my son was born, saying that if I never let him eat sugar (and we're talking refined here, not no sugar at all) he would binge when given the opportunity. And what kept coming to mind then and still does, is that we don't let our children have some cigarettes or some alcohol so that they won't binge when they are unsupervised/on their own. I have finally come to the conclusion that we explain the reasons behind not smoking, drinking, etc. and that other dietary and lifestyle decisions should be taught in a similar way. When the reasoning behind the rules is clear, I think rebellion from them becomes much less likely. Ultimately our children will grow up and be on their own. I think they are better off with the best example we can provide.
ReplyDeleteAngie- I'm so glad you commented! Thanks for recommending Keri's class to me. Lara told me to go to it, but I was debating it because the title "Journey through Core Phase" didn't sound like what I needed, but when you also recommended it, I decided to go. It was so great. I'm glad you're going off the deep end as well. It is so nice.
ReplyDeleteI don't live in Utah county. I grew up there and that is where my parents live. We go out there quite a lot. We should get together sometime. It would be fun to talk about all the fun things our kids are doing as we get rid of the distractions.
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Cherie- that is a good point and analogy to make. I hadn't thought of it that way.
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Salsido - isn't it crazy how far we have strayed from "normal" in such a short time! I've talked to people that think getting rid of stuff is somehow depriving my children of a normal childhood. How did having hundreds of entertaining toys get to be so normal and necessary? It really makes you think.
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I think I'll address some concerns that people have on my next post. Maybe it will help clear some things up that I didn't explain very well.
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