For a while, it seemed that whenever I expected everyone to work together to get something done - there would be a complainer that would sit around and ask why we had to do a particular thing right now, or this way, etc. OR the kids would get distracted and start playing and forget the task.
I knew I needed to figure out a way to help them learn to work even when they didn't feel like it, and to stay focused despite the many distractions around them. I don't mind it all if they play while they work. I think this is great - we're forging bonds and leaning that working can be fun. I do have to do something when they're only playing instead of working.
Playing while we work :-)
I decided that they needed some "work practice". Here's what I do when I see someone is not contributing:
1) Remind - I do this in different ways. Sometimes I just say their name (I've explained that this is one way I'll remind them to get back on task) or I say, "this is a reminder". Sometimes I'll praise a child that is working. If it's really a hard day for them, I'll give them a quick reminder of why we work.
2) If they continue to neglect the task, I tell them that they need some "work practice". For work practice they get to pick up 10 extra items from somewhere else in the house. If I catch them dawdling again during the family task (tattling is not allowed - it's only if I happen to see it - which is easy since we're all in the same room!) I add 10 more items. I keep track of how many items each child has earned during the task and then they go pick up that many items after we're finished with the family task.
At first, I had to keep tally marks by their names on a little paper on the fridge. After the first day, though, they learned to stay on task much better, so it's easy to keep track in my head when I do have them do "work practice" after a task.
A couple of warnings:
It's easy to focus on the negative when I am focused on catching them NOT working. I try to remember to praise them a lot when I do see them working and thank them for their contribution to the family. If a child is particularly difficult that day (this happened to me yesterday) - it can be tempting to spend time arguing with him/her. I try to remember that arguing causes us both to get off task. Instead, I'll just add more items for them to pick up or I check to see if they are "out of instructional control"". I was proud of myself for not loosing my temper, but remembering to follow through with the consequences instead.
This "work practice" (or 10 item pick-up) has worked really well for us.
Anyone else have any ideas about how to help your children stay on task?
It sounds good to me! If my children stop working while we're doing jobs then they go to timeout and owe me ten minutes more work during free time when everyone else is playing.
ReplyDeleteYep, I do the same thing. I'll ask for a job to get done and I expect a "Yes, Mom" in reply (so that we both know that the request was heard) and if I have to ask again, an additional chore gets added. If they are all working together on a task and one person is causing arguments, then that person is reminded that if they cannot work together, that person will be left to do that job on their on (my children are older than most of yours, so this works). They know that free time comes once school and work is completed.
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