Help - I need info.

So I spent all morning trying to figure out how to make my blog have 3 columns.  In the end, I messed it all up and had to start over in configuring it.  At least it now has 3 columns, but I lost the information I have for my friend's blogs.  I put some of them on there that I could remember the address to, but there are several that I don't know how to find.  If you are a my friend and you have a blog - please send me your blog address so I can add it to the blogs I read.  I like to have them on my page so I can just click on them and see what people are up to.  Thanks!  -Karen

We're Going to be Okay - Amazing Friendships

I had a thought last night about how much good there must be in the world even though it sometimes seems to be drowned out by the loud voices of not-so-good all around us...

We drove to Idaho yesterday to spend time with some friends we have from when we lived in Texas - Nathan, Amy, Elle, Ava and Rock.  They are moving to San Diego in a couple of weeks so we thought we better go see them while they were still pretty close.

(I didn't bring my camera to Idaho so I'm stealing some of their family pictures)

They are currently staying with Nathan's parents while they waited for the results of his bar exam, and he could start his job in California.  Nathan's mom has made their home a really great place for her grandkids to visit.  They have story themes in every room, a story-land backyard, a beach-themed swimming pool (it was baby's first time swimming - he wasn't a big fan) and lots of games to play.  It was pretty amazing.  You can't help but feel transported into your imagination when you're there.  I put Ray down for a nap in the "Beauty and the Beast" room and I wanted to hang out there all day.  The shelves were lined with classic children's books and there was a comfy couch that invited you to sit and imagine.  Their home was a pretty magical place.

It was so great to see our friends again.  They are an amazing family.  They spent the last year in Europe and it was fun to hear their adventures.

Amy is one of the people that has influenced my life in many ways for good.  I admire them a lot.  Our Little Miss and their Elle were the best of friends when we lived in Texas and they had no trouble picking up where they left off.

Saying goodbye was hard again.  It seemed like we ought not be saying it.  Hopefully we can visit them in California.

I've had the privilege of knowing some really amazing people in the 10 moves we've made since we've been married.  As we were driving home last night, I thought about the friendships I've made and how much they have impacted my life.  I would be such a different person today if I hadn't had the opportunity to meet these amazing people who have helped me understand and see things in ways I hadn't thought of before.  They have impacted my life in a way that transformed me into  a different person than the one I was before I met them.

I thought "Wow, what a coincidence that the 10 places that we've lived in, happened to have some of the most amazing people in the world."  Then I thought, "Wait, maybe there are actually people like them everywhere".  It seems hard to believe, but it's definitely more probable than thinking that I just happened to live in the some of the few places in the world that they exist!  Think of it... if there are actually amazing people like my friends in all places - quietly living their lives, and impacting for good those around them through their words and example - then there is a huge force for good in this world.  I don't need to despair and fear for the world.  We're going to be okay.

Thank-you to all my friends who have enriched my life so deeply.  I love you all!

Our Schedule

This post is part of my thoughts on how to teach kids to work.

"There are times when  conforming to a schedule has legitimate advantages.  But when sticking to the plan becomes and end in itself rather than a means,  it may get in the way of loving attention to the real needs of children." 

"Linking people has less to do with what gets done than how it gets done." -SoF

I love making schedules, but I really have a hard time remembering not to make them an "end in itself "rather than a "means" to my life.  I tend to get stressed out when we're not "on schedule" and become less patient with the fun little things the kids do.

I've looked for ways to overcome this. One thing that helps me is to remember this scene from the Book of Mormon - 3 Nephi chapter 17 verses 4-7.  The Savior tells the people he has to go (he has an agenda), but he looks in their eyes and perceives that they need Him (they don't even have to ask!) and he stays and spends time with them.

I try to remember to look into my kids eyes more often and perceive what they need instead of looking at my watch.

That being said, I find that I am even more stressed out if I don't have a schedule. I have goals and ideas for myself and for the kids that I would like to work towards. If I don't have some sort of "roadmap" to how I'm going to get there - I worry more, and I waste more time on things that don't bring me happiness. Here's our road map (give or take a couple of hours, or a couple of items, depending on the day):

Our Schedule

Me: (to be done before 8am)

5:30 - Scriptures (30 min)

6:00 - Exercise

6:45 - Blog/Journal

Everyone:

7:30  - Breakfast Checklist

8:00  - Fix, eat and clean up from breakfast

9:00  - Weekly Jobs

9:30  - Morning Devotional

10:15- Family Work Project

11:15 - Discovery Time

12:30- Lunchtime Checklist 
              Fix, eat, and clean up from lunch

1:30  - Table Time 

2:00  - Study Time 

4:00  - Play Time 

Evening:

5:00 - Dinner Checklist

           Fix, eat, and clean up from dinner

6:30 - Bed Time Checklist 

7:00 - Family reading time *

8:00 - Reading in bed

8:30 - Lights out for kids

* I'll explain these in later posts and link them back here.


We follow this schedule pretty much every week day, but we do usually end up shortening some things or leaving some things out most days, depending on how the day is going.  I try to rotate what I leave out so I'm not neglecting the same things too often.


I think one reason that following a schedule is so hard for me is my personality.  I like spontaneity and freedom.  Sometimes schedules make me feel "caged" in.  On those days, I forget about the schedule and go on a hike with the kids or have a family read-a-thon or something of that sort.  

Another reason I think schedules are hard for me is my laziness.  I grew up being rather pampered.  My mom had a very, very difficult childhood and she wanted to make our childhood a happy one.  She wanted us to enjoy it as much as possible.  I'm embarrassed to say that sometimes she even cleaned my room when I was a teenager!  She taught me about hard work through her wonderful example, but since I didn't do too much myself (except for the money-earning type jobs I had as a teenager) I had a hard time adjusting to married life.  I still sometimes have a hard time making myself get to work.  On those days, I have to exert my willpower to take the initial step to get started and then usually it's easier and more fun from there.


I do, however, love this schedule.  That's probably an important thing when it comes to being able to stick to it.  Everything on the schedule is important to me and brings me joy.  I look forward to getting started on it in the mornings.  I really have the best job in the world!


Want more exiting details?!?  Click here

"Hi Friends" and Bruises

Bazinks loves to play a game he calls, "Hi Friends".   In this game, he takes any object (a battery, a crayon, a little figurine, a pencil, etc) and gives me any object.  These are our "Hi Friends". My little object says "Hi Friend!" to his little object and the game begins.

It goes something like this:

Me (wiggling my little object): "Hi friend!  What's your name?"
Bazinks: "My name's Bob.  What's your name?"
Me: "I'm Frank"
Bazinks: (whispering to me and pointing to his guy) ac-shee (actually), his name is Frank too.
Me: (whispering) Oh, okay
Bazinks: "I have a cool jet, wanna go on it?"
Me: "Sure!  What's you jet's name?"
Bazinks: "Ummmm. (long pause)...His name is Frank,"
Me: "Oh!  Cool name!"

Then we have some sort of adventure.  He likes to pretend his guy has magic and he can turn into anything.  He's also nice enough to share some of his magic with my guy so my guy can accomplish the same feats.

We have K'nex - sometimes these K'nex are guns or swords, but when we're playing "Hi Friends" they turn into machines that shoot out different things when you push a "button".  One will shoot out strawberries, one bananas, one cookies, one guns, and one ice cream.

If we don't have K'nex near by, he isn't deterred.  The other day, he took a wipe box and it became  a machine.  If you push on the "H" - chocolate chips come out, on the "U" - bananas come out, on the "G" - cookies come out, on the other "G" - more cookies come out, on the "I" guns come out, on the "E" - swords come out, and on the "S" - whipped cream comes out.

I'm thinking he's going to engineer some pretty useful devices when he grows up.

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I had to take Bazinks to the Doctor yesterday.  He had been drooling blood at night and I was worried.  I had checked his teeth, but they looked fine.  His bloody drool at night had started on the day he hit cheekbone on the coffee table after getting "belly buffed" by Bud (they push each other with their bellies).

I took him in, after the third day of finding blood on his pillow, concerned that he had internal bleeding of some sort.  I guess it had been a while since I'd taken him to a doctor.  They still had our Baltimore address for him on the computer.

He was so brave and so quiet as the doctor examined him - although his eyes did shed a couple of tears.  He was nervous because I had told him the doctor might have to take some blood.  We needn't have worried.

It turns out he had a cut on the inside of his cheek from biting on it when he hit his face.  Why didn't I think to look in his cheeks?!  When we got home, and I told the family, Little Miss said, "Oh yeah, Bazinks told me he bit his cheek when he fell."  I wish someone would have told me.

He was glad he got to go though.  He got a sucker and some gum from the Doctor.  We also got to watch "Happy Feet" in the waiting room.  I think he left with a pretty favorable impression of going to the doctor's.

I love my little Bazinks.  He's one tough little kid.

Project Time

 This post is part of my thoughts on how to teach the kids to work.

"The problem is not so much the presence or absence of a 'work ethic' as it is the meaning of work and the way it links, or fails to link, individuals to one another"  -Robert N. Bellah (sociologist)

I like to set an hour or so in the morning for us to work together on a home project. This is something I just recently started when I realized that we needed to work together more. It was kind of hard at first - for a couple of days, one particular child argued with me about it whenever we would start. An interesting thing took place after several days, though.

You know how growth and character development take place when we are going through hard times or reaching towards goals that make us stretch? I have found that this can apply to household work. In just the short time we have been doing this, I have seen the children increase in patience toward each other, in obedience towards me, in controlling their tempers, in kindness and helpfulness. My patience and capacity has increased as well.

One Saturday morning:

Playing in the leaf bags (this actually lasted hours):

For example, during the first few days - there was yelling and arguing towards me and towards each other. I would try to stay patient and set a good example, but it was difficult. We had morning devotionals about kind words, the importance of work, the growth that comes from doing hard things, etc. In the evenings, the child that seemed to struggle the most with this new schedule would apologize and say, "I know I apologize about this a lot, and you probably don't believe me when I apologize anymore, but I am sorry about how I acted today." I'd assure them that I noticed times where they had tried to be better and that I was happy as long as they were trying. This child would still have a bit of a fit the next day, but I did notice times when he/she would try not to. Eventually, this child got better and better at following directions and staying calm when things seemed unfair, or when getting teased, or when he/she simply did not want to work.


This child is still learning, but has come such a long way in such a short time just from being expected to do hard things even when not feeling like it. I have seen similar growth and bonding from the other kids as well.

Cleaning Appliances:

Anyway, what do we do during family project time? Isn't there always a project that I've been meaning to get to? That's what we do. So far we've cleaned out a couple of closets, cleared and cleaned our appliance/spice cabinet, cleaned out the fridge and freezer, organized books and school things, raked leaves, made apple cider from apples, cleaned out and organized the office/baby room, and organized the junk drawers (yes, there were two).

Alphabetizing the Spices:

 I've actually ran out of jobs on my "To do" list so now I'm starting to pick a job from our seasonal or monthly work cards (I talk about these here) These cards say things like, "Sweep the walk-way", "Clean light fixtures", "Vacuum living room furniture", "Clean kitchen windows", etc.  I don't, however, do things that I don't think need to be done just yet even if they're scheduled. Yesterday, I drew a card from the seasonal cards that said, "Clean living room light fixtures." I looked at them and thought, "Ahh, they look fine." and I decided to organize the little closet by the garage instead. I plan to start rotating them in on a schedule (they're already divided into which jobs I want to do on what months for the seasonal jobs and which jobs I want to do on what weeks for the monthly) whenever I don't have another project I want to do.

Wondering what the spices taste like:

As a side note, I also allow the kids to earn money by doing one of the "monthly" or "seasonal" cards on their own. They get a dollar for doing one card outside of family work time. I've opted to do this instead of giving them an allowance because the allowance thing wasn't working for us. They didn't seem to be valuing the money enough. There have been no takers yet (they still have money left from the allowance days), but maybe when they find something they really want...


It's been such a relief for me to have a time that I know can rely on to get the projects done that I've been wanting to get done. It's been great to get everyone involved because it's not so lonely, I think they are learning valuable skills, and we're bonding more as a family.

Sometimes someone's job is to "keep the baby happy":

I really love this new aspect of our family life. Like I've said before, the ability to do hard things (work) can transfer to anything we want to accomplish in life.

Tasting the spices:

Oregano is not so good by itself:

A job well done:

(P.S. I've added an update to this post)

What Would I Change? - "A Little Princess."

One of my favorite song of all time is one that I used to sing at our church's girl's camp and I now often sing to my girls when I put them to bed.  The whole thing is beautiful, but a there's a line in it that always strikes me because as I sing it, I feel the love that God has for me and I remember who I really am.  It says:

Long before the time you can remember
Our Father held you in his arms so tenter
His loving arms released you as he sent you down to earth
He said, "My child, I love you, don't forget your great worth.
Walk tall, you're a Daughter, a child of God
Be strong, please remember who you are.
Try to understand, you're part of His great plan.
He's closer than you know, reach up, He'll take your hand.

Some of my cousins I were discussing the book, "A Little Princess" by Frances Burnett yesterday.

This is one of my favorite books because it reminds me that I am"Princess", a daughter of a Heavenly King, and it gets me thinking about how I might act differently if I truly grasped the reality of the potential within me and those around me.

Sara liked to "pretend" she was a princess so she could try to act like one regardless of where she was, but in the end we find that there is no "pretending" about it.  Every girl (and woman) is a princess by nature and those who try to live like one can reach their divine potential.

This book made me reflect on a quote I head at a CES fireside recently.  Elder Urchdorf said, "Too many people go about their lives thinking they are of little worth, when in reality they are elegant and eternal creatures, of infinite value and potential, beyond their imagination."

I asked my cousins what being a princess meant.  They used words like "refined" and "polished".  I like those descriptions because as we go through life, we learn and grow and our rough edges are made smooth - we become more as we are meant to become.

I wondered, what would I change about the way I am if I try to grasp the potential within me?

I think I'm going to try harder to see the divinity within everyone I come in contact with.

Here's some of my favorite quotes about it:

On behaving in a way that reflects your divine potential:

"She says [being a princess] has nothing to do with what you look like or what you have.  It has only to do with what you think of and what you do."

"There was something friendly about Sara and people always felt it." (30)


"Perhaps I'm a hideous child, and no one will ever know just because I haven't had any trials." (41)


"She was a motherly person" - she ran and helped the little ones up and comforted them.


Becky when talking about Sara, "I wouldn't mind how [hard things got] if I might have [talking to Sara] to look forward to." (67)


"If Nature has made you for a giver, your hands are born open, and so is your heart; and though there may be times when your hands are empty, your heart is always full, and you can give things out of that..." (80)


"Everything is a story.  You're a story, I'm a story..." (149)


When she was having a really hard time: "her affection for everything she loved increased."

"If I am a princess in rags and tatters, I can be a princess inside.  It would be easy to be a princess if I were dressed in cloth of gold, but it is a great deal more of a triumph to be one all the time when no one knows it." (178)

"It seemed as if the child were mentally living a life which held her above the rest of the world." (179)

In her deep hunger and misery, she was able to see someone more forlorn then herself and she gave.

Her giving, influenced others who became more giving.

"I was wondering what my father would say if he knew where I am tonight." (253) - she said this when Miss Minchin was being particularly awful to her - she was talking of her earthly father, but it's helpful to think this about our Heavenly Father and how we treat others.

On anger:
"If you were a princess, you did not fly into rages."


"It's true, sometimes I do pretend I am a princess.  I pretend I am a princess, so that I can try and behave like one."


"When you will not fly into a passion people know you are stronger than they are, because you are strong enough to hold in your rage and they are not...there's nothings so strong as rage exept what makes you hold it in - that's stronger." (160)


She would think of princesses who "could not be made to be rude and malicious by the rudeness and malice of those about her. (180)


When people were mean to her she would think, "You don't know that you are saying those things to a princess...I only spare you because you ... don't know any better." (179)

To me, a princess is someone who asks herself, "What would God have me do?" and then goes forward and does it.  That is how one becomes "refined" and "polished".  I hope my cousins see the divinity I see within each of them.

Our 11 Year Anniversary

Rock and I have been married for 11 years now!  It's been such an adventurous 11 years!  We've moved 10 times and have lived in 6 different states!  I am so blessed to be married to a man who is not afraid to pursue his dreams.  He is truly courageous and full of faith.  It is such a sweet assurance to me to know that he is guided in his decisions for our family, because he lives in a way that qualifies him for that guidance.  We are so blessed because of his willingness to pursue what is right, even when it's scary or difficult.


To celebrate our 11 years of marriage - we took the 5 kids and my parents and headed to Vegas.  Sure, it doesn't sound like the most romantic get-away, but we had a blast!  Taking all the kids with us (my parents came along because they were so kind as to agree to watch them) on a 14 hour drive (round trip) just seemed much easier to me than teaching Joshua to drink from a bottle and pumping all that milk.  Go figure.

Everyone was so great on the way there!  We only had to stop once for a potty break and they just played together and quietly worked on things.  Joshua didn't cry at all.  It made me want to do road trips more often.

We've been studying ancient Greece, Egypt, Rome and the Middle East a lot lately so we took the kids to see statues and decorations at Ceasar's palace, the Luxor, and Bellagio.  We tried to ignore all the gambling people and "scantily clad" women as much as possible, but Bud said it did make him feel kind of sad to see so many people gambling.  At least he didn't go to the top of the escalator and shout rebukes to the people like one of my younger brothers did so many years ago (you know who you are!) much to the embarrassment of my parents.

As we were walking down the strip on the way to the M&M museum, we ran into this guy:

(It's Jerry Springer).  I almost had the kids pose with him, but then decided that we weren't big enough fans to take up his time.  So we posed with this guy instead:

We also went to Mandalay Bay to walk through the aquarium.  It's pretty neat, they give you these little radio sticks and you punch in numbers that you see as you walk through, and then you get to hear all about what you are looking at.  Spice, Bud and Little Miss loved this and listened to every number you could punch in.  Bazinks and Ray just loved looking at all the fish as they surrounded us while we walked through the tunnels.

Rock and I went to the U2 concert that Friday night.  I hadn't been to a concert in years!  It seems like I used to go all the time in high school, but I don't think I had been to one since.  U2 has some major talent.  They were so great to watch.  The stage was amazing as well and I was really impressed with the quality of the sound (my youngest brother would tease me right about now about sounding like an old person.)  Black-eyed Peas opened for U2 and I actually liked quite a lot of their songs.  Fergie has an amazing voice.


Of course, I forgot to take my camera to the concert so here's a picture someone else took that must have been sitting pretty close to us:

 And in case someone forgot what U2 looks like, here's a picture of them:

We got back to the hotel to find my mom taking Ray up and down the elevator to keep him happy.  He had awakened while we were gone and wouldn't go back to sleep so my mom was pacing with him.  She learned that he likes elevator rides.  I have such an awesome mom!

My parents left early the next morning.  Rock and I took the kids to Circus Circus.  One of the clowns asked for volunteers up on stage so Bud went up there.  It was great because they were doing a limbo contest, and while others were struggling to go under the bar, Bud could just walk right under it.  It was hilarious.  Everyone laughed.  He won, of course, and he pretty much made the show.

After Circus Circus we decided to go to a buffet, but since the prices of buffets in Vegas are not what they used to be, we stopped in Mesquite for one instead.

I suppose we were a spectacle ourselves as we walked through casinos with our double stroller and 5 little kids in tow, but I did get a lot of compliments on their cuteness from people with good taste in cuteness ;-)


It also gave us a great opportunity to talk about what is real.  We saw so many replicas of things we had learned about in our history lessons.  There was one painting that looked like a mosaic.  We got really close to look at it and realized it had only been painted to look like a very real mosaic.  It was a beautiful painting, but we were kind of disappointed.  We saw beautiful statues that were made to look like stone and marble, and of course the replicas of the Eiffel Tower, the Arch de Triumphe, the Statue of Liberty and other things.

We talked about how so many things in Las Vegas are "replicas" of the real thing.  Then we talked about how Satan likes to take everything that is good and offer people a "replica" or a way to misuse it - like he takes divine worth and turns it into self-worship and countless other examples.  As we looked around, we saw how there are so many people looking to find happiness, only to later find that it was a "fake" or "replica" kind of happiness that ultimately brings them sadness.


The drive home wasn't quite as pleasant as the way there.  They all held up really well until about the last hour of the trip which seemed to last about 3 hours.  I can't complain though, 13 out of 14 hours is better than I expected.  Maybe we'll try a road trip to Oklahoma or Florida this summer!