So Tired...

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" Philippians 4:13

One of the challenges when I'm expecting a baby is that I'm not only tired physically, but I'm tired mentally. I think the hormones must have something to do with it, but I sometimes feel unmotivated and anxious about things. I'm not depressed, but I get a small taste of what that must feel like (I get a good dose when I nurse my babies as well - but only while I'm nursing, the feeling passes shortly after the baby nurses). Anyway, it is a growing experience.

I woke up one morning with a list of things to do in my mind and a house that wasn't looking so good since we had been so busy with Christmas preparations. I desperately wanted to just stay in bed. I read my scriptures in bed and the thought occurred to me that Heavenly Father would give me strength to accomplish whatever work He would have me do. In my prayer, I asked him to guide me to what He would have me do with my day and for the strength to do it. I was kind of hoping I would feel like going back to sleep was a good idea - after all, pregnant women need their rest right? But I didn't feel that way. I thought that I should get up and make my bed. Not the most important thing you would think that Heavenly Father had in mind, but the amazing thing was that a minute before I was so anxious about my list of things to do and now I had one thing in my mind - make my bed. I could do that. I got up and made my bed. I had to fight the urge to jump in it as I made it, but I was even able to focus on putting one foot in front of the other until the task was complete.

Next, I looked around and I thought to take the laundry downstairs. I started the laundry, and one by one each task that came to my mind got completed. I was no longer anxious and worried about the many things I needed to accomplish that day - I was only thinking about "What would Heavenly Father have me do right now?" And then I did it, knowing He would give me the strength to do so. I didn't get everything in my list accomplished that day, but I felt wonderfully about it anyway. I knew I accomplished those things that Heavenly Father wanted me to accomplish including spending some time just loving my children.

I wish I were better at remembering this key to happiness. Then every day could be just right.

A friend recently recommended a couple of books to me about establishing Christ centered family traditions. I asked him what he was doing with his family and as he was explaining some of his traditions to me, he wrote me of his finding that Heavenly Father sometimes gives people tasks that are beyond their capabilities in order for them to stretch "that’s because the Lord doesn’t want them to be good at who they currently are, He wants them to get good at being who they’re supposed to become," he wrote. He mentioned that in the scriptures, help comes in the form of spiritual gifts and wise mentors. I asked him for more information about this and he sent me a paper he presented on personal callings.

I'm starting to pray for those gifts that I know I need and I feel Heavenly Father is helping me develop those so that can live up to my tasks. He wrote in his paper,

Resistance is always met. Remember, the devil has a vested interest in keeping us from growing. Doing so is part of his attempt to thwart God’s plan. Resistance can come externally or internally – externally from other people or circumstances, or internally from our weaknesses and fear (usually both!). If we choose to continue in our task, confronting this resistance becomes a sacred combat.
When we have fought through it with the assistance of the Lord we become more confident in our ability to accomplish more. It becomes an upward spiral of courage, competence, and faith. -Greg Loebel

That's encouraging isn't it? It makes me realize that these perceived weaknesses of mine are only tools to draw me closer to Heavenly Father and help me become whom I am meant to become.

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. Ether 12:27

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By the way, totally off topic, but did everyone see the link that Lara posted on my comments in my last post?  Everyone really ought to hear it.  It's well worth your time.  There is one part, at the end, during Q&A that I didn't agree with, but the rest of the talk is so great.  It's absurd at times (looking at it through our culture lens), but perfectly brilliant.  One of my favorite quotes (I have a lot) is about the media we are exposing our children to.  He's talking about how sometimes we are awakening their interest in the opposite sex too early by the media we let them watch and listen to and he says, "We are raping our children's minds instead of protecting their innocence."  I thought that was pretty powerful.