Back to School and Finding Fault and Updates

I've been feeling a little confused lately and so I haven't  been sure what to write.  I've been talking to several people as they send their kids back to school and how they feel about it.  Most say that they will miss their kids, but that they know it's good for them.  I talked to one mom whose 6 year-old daughter took a picture of their family to school to put in her pencil box so she could look at them when she was missing them.  I mentioned that it would be nice if they could have a shorter school day and she replied that it would be nice, but that they wouldn't be able to fit everything into it that the kids needed to learn.   I wanted to ask what a six year old needed to learn so urgently that they had to be at school for 8 hours to make sure that they learned it.  I didn't ask - she didn't seem to be wanting my opinion.

I talked to another mom who was going to miss her kids, but was glad that all of the fighting would be over when they went back to school.  I wanted to say that an important part of their education is to teach them to not "transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another... But [to] teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness...teach them to love one another, and to serve one another"(Mosiah 4:14-15), but I stayed quiet - she wasn't asking my opinion either.

Another mom learned that I homeschooled as we talked. She told me that she and her husband had been left with a bad taste for homeschoolers after they had met a family that homeschooled all of their children and their curriculum was The Book of Mormon. She waited for my reaction and when I just smiled and nodded, she went on to say, "I mean, you need to know more in life than The Book of Mormon to function in this world! They didn't do any math - their oldest went to high school to be on the swim team and he didn't know anything - we had to help him catch up. He was a bright kid and he did fine, but I just couldn't believe it." I wanted to know why it was so wrong that the child spent the first years of his live learning The Book of Mormon if he caught up just fine with the rest of his classmates that had spent the first years of their life learning the stuff that took him several months to catch up on. I was too confused to say anything right away and the conversation moved on to different topics so I never said anything to her either.

I know that everyone receives direction for raising their children and some people pray and feel that they should send their children to school, but they work hard to teach them the important values at home with their limited time. I admire these mothers, even though they do things differently, because they are proactively seeking to the the Lord's will with their children . I don't think one way is always better than another, like this post so beautifully explains.

The reason that sometimes I get frustrated is when people have these reasons that seem so misguided, and I want to help, but I think that saying something would probably not do any good because they are not really seeking for a different way - or maybe they are, I don't know.  I was in the same position not too long ago. I sent my children to school because I thought it was good for them, but I didn't like it. I just didn't see the alternative very clearly. It seemed too strange and potentially harmful to me. If I had known, I would have done things differently. It's just probably one of those things that you have to realize on your own.

I want to help and show people that the alternative is more joyful than one can imagine and that it really isn't beyond them, but I also don't want to offend. Maybe I should say what is on my mind anyway - if I say it with love and respect, since I really am thinking loving thoughts, maybe it wouldn't go over as bad as I think - or maybe people would just stop talking to me :-) I'm just so happy that I want to share how wonderful it is! No, it's not always fun and games, but it is so fulfilling.

Anyway, since I didn't say anything, I had to write about it and share my frustrations. I'm sure if I stay close to the spirit, I can be guided in what to say and when.  Maybe I should refer them to this post about false traditions - I know I haven't let go of all of mine (including several of the ones she mentions in the post)- maybe just noticing different ones can help us know which ones we need to look into. The trick is noticing them in the first place I think.

I was reading about the bishop in Les Miserables the other day. I was inspired by these lines:

What enlightened this man was the heart. His wisdom was formed from the light emanating from there. He had no systems but many deeds...His humble soul loved, and that was enough...There are men who work for the extraction of gold; he worked for the extraction of pity. The misery of the universe was his mine. Grief everywhere was only an occasion for good always. Love one another: He declared that to be complete; he desired nothing more, and it was his whole doctrine.

That is how I want to live. I want to stop stressing about how people could be happier and about the state of our world (I was up at 3 am and couldn't get back to sleep the other night because of it), but instead just love people and serve them, especially when they are unhappy, as we all are at times.  I want to go about doing good, as the Savior did. I know it starts in my own home. I often tell the children to "cease to find fault one with another", from a scripture we memorized (D&C 88:124), but I'm finding it is much easier said then done as I try to live it.

Anyway, that's what's been on my mind lately - establishing habits so that we can do those things that I know are essential while making sure I am living in the moment,  feeling love towards others and guidance in my thoughts and actions as I go.  I have a long way to go :-)

Some family updates (for grandmas and for me to remember):

Ray is finally learning to walk (he's 15 months old!):

Here's just a cute one that Spice filmed at grandma's over Labor Day weekend:



One of Ray's favorite tricks is to spin.  He spins often :-)



I realize that we say his name on the videos, but I figure if it's not typed then people can't go searching on the internet for him and it's safe right?  Sometimes I'm paranoid about these things.

Bud and Spice like to bear their testimonies on fast Sundays.  I've explained to them that they don't have to feel like they need to bear their testimony every time, and they don't, but most of the time they want to and  don't try to stop them.  I love to hear their sweet words.  I always mean to write them down.  A few months ago I remember Bud saying, "I want to always be good."  There was another time that he said the sweetest things and someone behind me told me that I needed to write that one down, but I didn't, and I forgot it despite my attempts to remember it.  I did manage to write his down last Sunday though!  He said:

"I love to bear my testimony.  I'm grateful for Heavenly Father and Jesus and my family.  I'm grateful for all that he..that Jesus has done for us.  I hope that we can not be mad at each other and we can love each other.  I know Thomas S. Monson is good.  I know that he is the right prophet.  In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen."

I wish I could remember Spice's testimony word for word.  I had forgotten exactly what Spice said by the time I got done writing Bud's down, but it was beautiful and heartfelt.  Maybe I'll write hers down next time.

The devotional boxes are going well.  I think it's cute when I ask them to write down what they want to work on that day and Bud often writes down "Obeying mom" or "Working for mom".  I sure love that goal! (We don't show each other our goals very often, but I glanced at his the other day).

Making Raisins:

Bud's "Box Costume" he made at grandma's house (I just had to take a picture):

The kids filled up their bean jar so we took them miniature golfing and then out for ice cream:

I couldn't stop taking pictures of Ray eating my cone:

Ward Swim Party (it was a bit cold for swimming - I didn't get in the water, but there were many brave souls that did) Spice went off the high dive!  I couldn't get her to do it again so I could snap a picture though :-(

Cuteness:

 And some more cuteness: