The Virtue of Time (and a small miracle)

"To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven..." -Ecclesiastes 3:1

As I've worked to simplify our stuff, I'm clearing away everything that distracts from that which is of most worth. I want to get to the point that everything in my house has a reason for being there - and that the reason serves our ultimate purpose - I want a family so immersed in light that they can see the real around them and discern the true. In short, I want a family firmly planted in our Savior's love.

In my last post, I mentioned that I want my children to understand the purpose that I have for the things that are left in our home. If they are used for another purpose, they may be damaged, lost, or undervalued. This keeps things simple - it helps us be aware of why we have what we have and to make sure we are making the best use of it.

I've been trying to do the same thing with our time.

For me (like the virtue of a knife is it's sharpness), the virtue of a book is it's ability to bring us closer to truth, the virtue of a toy is to engage imagination and creativity. What is the virtue of our time?

"Can we remember... that we live on borrowed time, purchased by the Savior's blood, and that everything He does is 'for the benefit of the world?" -John C. Thomas

I think that, in a broad sense, our time ought to be used to bring ourselves and others closer to Christ. It's easy to get distracted from this with the daily tasks of life, but it is through those tasks that we accomplish it. It is important that we look at the why behind everything we fill our time with.

"When we put God first, all other things fall into their place or drop out of our lives." -Ezra Taft Benson

I tend to be a bit of a busy-body. I feel like I ought to always be doing something. It is so easy for me to fill my life with good things (see my one of my previous attempts at scheduling my days), that my mind and body do not see and feel what is right in front of me. Instead, I end up living where I hope to be and miss the joy of being where I am! As I have simplified my schedule, miracles have taken place. I will share one with you.

First, I should point out that I have chosen to leave things in my life that most help my family with those things that are most important, there are basically three things:

1. Our relationship to God (and becoming what He would have us be)
2. Our relationship to each other (family and then those around us)
3. Our relationship to our environment (making it a place where the Spirit can dwell and we are not distracted from feeling it).

"We will move faster if we hurry less." -Spencer W. Kimball

As I started thinking about this "virtue of time" concept, I looked at my new schedule (that I love) to see how "in-line" it was with those three purposes. This was just an exercise for myself, but I'll share it here because it helped me see why I love my new way of life so much. The numbers in parenthesis correspond to the 3 purposes above.

Morning:
Before Breakfast List: (1)To connect with God, tune ourselves to his Spirit, remember the things that matter. (3) Make sure our home is in order - a place where the Spirit can dwell.
Meals: (1) Nourish our bodies (2) Family bonding as we discuss our days and what matters.
Family Work: (1) To develop our characters, to discipline ourselves to do hard and sometimes menial things for a higher purpose. (2) To bond as a family as we talk and strive towards a common goal. (3) To keep our home a place where the Spirit can dwell.
Devotional: (1)To be inspired as we taste the joy of learning and drawing closer to God as a family.

Afternoon
Free Time: (1) To listen to our hearts and then to do what our hearts tell us.

Evening
Family Time: (2) For family bonding and wholesome recreation (that is - recreation that brings us wholeness - helps us see the reality and joy of the present moment).
Family Reading Time: (1) Inspiration to lift ourselves and our thoughts higher. (2) Family bonding as we share in a common adventure.

No wonder I'm loving the new structure to our life. Just as I have been getting rid of stuff that distracts from our purpose and making sure that the stuff that remains is used for what it's meant to be used for, I have also been getting rid of things "to do" with our time that distract us from our purpose and I've been making sure that the things left "to do" are used for what they are meant to be used for.

"Undistracted by other gods, we trust the Lord to help us allocate our time and talent to their very best uses each day. As a result, we do more good and we make real progress." -John C. Thomas

This is all sounding kind of abstract, so let me give a more concrete example of how this concept has blessed me lately. During our family work, we can only be working - no toys, no playing something that you can't play while you work, etc. During meals - no books, no toys, no silly games, just eating and conversation (preferably adult led, though this is not always the case because we have bad habits), etc.

So the other day I walked downstairs to fix breakfast after doing the things on my morning list, the house was clean because the kids had finished their morning tasks and Bud was folding clothes on the couch. I was surprised by this because laundry is not part of his morning tasks. I said, "Wow, Bud! Thanks for pulling the clothes out of the dryer and starting laundry without me even asking you to!" He said, "Well, I didn't want to just sit here and it wasn't free time yet so I decided I might as well do something." I almost couldn't believe my ears. We are all learning that we can have free time after we are all done with the work.

It is amazing how this sense of focus on "what we ought to be doing at this time" has made us free to enjoy the present moment. It is so refreshing! Our minds are free to think and be in the here and now. Ahhhhhhhhh.

This brings me to the miracle I mentioned above. I've always wanted my children to speak Spanish. It is very important to me. I can speak Spanish, though English is easier. My parents speak both. My grandparents speak only Spanish. I can never remember to speak it. I have been trying, for 10+ years to figure out ways to remind myself to speak it to the children. I have made signs for my walls that say, in bold letters, "SPEAK SPANISH", I've prayed, I have tried to connect it to rituals, I have tried having others remind me, I have tried reading in Spanish to get it in my head. Nothing has worked! My kids speak no Spanish because I never remember to speak it.

I felt that it was something that Heavenly Father wanted me to teach my children. People told me that I hadn't made it a priority, that I didn't realize how important it was, that I needed to further study the effects on a child's brain when they can speak a second language. I tried and I felt more and more guilty, but I still could not remember to speak it consistently.

Well, guess what has happened as I've simplified my life? I have been able to remember to speak Spanish in the mornings! You see, what I was lacking wasn't desire or ability. What I was lacking was the mental space for thinking about what I needed to do at the present moment. My thoughts were always flying in different directions. My mind was rarely in the here and now. I was so preoccupied with what I "ought to be doing" that was wasn't doing what I ought to be doing! It's so sad, but so true.

"Take time to slow down and ponder so that you can feel the Lord's love for you." -Bonnie D. Parkin

That is only one of the miracles that has taken place as I've worked to fill my life with things that matter (it's still a work in progress, by the way). The joy and happiness that I have been experiencing as I've been better able to take in the beauty, truth and love that surrounds me at all times - that has been the greatest miracle of all.

"Be still, and know that I am God" -Psalm 46:10

*Quotes taken from Don't Be in a Hurry by John C. Thomas - it's a good read!