Thursday, June 3, 2010

The Virtue of Stuff

I recently learned a definition of virtue that I had never thought of. It comes from Plato and Aristotle. They speak of virtue as that which makes a thing to be what it is, and to do its work well. They say virtue is a habit or quality that allows the bearer to succeed at his, her, or its purpose. So, for example, the virtue of a knife is sharpness and among the virtues of a racehorse is speed.
I've been trying to help the kids understand virtue in this sense - that they have qualities that will help them succeed at their purpose and that even stuff has virtue - or qualities that that make it be what it is meant to be.
For example, if Bud is using his fork as a catepult for his food, I'll remind him that the virtue of a fork is it's ability to pick up food for us to eat, or if the kids think it would be fun to make a tower with the tupperware, I'll explain that the "virtue of tupperware" is the ability to store food. I've also been trying to get them to stop jumping on the couch because the couch was designed for sitting, etc.

Why all this fuss? The general view is often that we should let "kids be kids" and use their imaginations to use things in creative ways. It is also thought beneficial for kids to explore their surrounding with little or no limits in order for them to be creative in using ordinary things in different ways.

I agree with this to some extent - namely that we ought to give our children "raw materials" rope, blankets, blocks, lifeless toys for them to use their imaginations and create their own world and play. This is another great reason to get rid of "entertaining" toys (if you need any more reasons) - those really will stifle creativity. However, until recently, I hadn't stopped to consider that this child-centered view -that children ought to be allowed to play with anything as long as it is not dangerous - might be encouraging selfish and disrespectful attitudes in my children.

I started thinking about this when we got rid of many of our toys, suddenly, to the children, more things around the house started looking like interesting toys to amuse themselves with. I wondered if this was healthy or not. As I started thinking about virtue, I realized that I wanted my children to respect the virtue (the quality that allows it to succeed at it's purpose) of the things around them.
If children learn that they can manipulate their things in any way that suits them, without regard to the properties of that thing, they will learn that it is okay for them to manipulate their environment with little regard to the rules and laws that govern that environment. In other words, they will find ways to make their environment suit their pleasure without regards to how their action ruins their things and subsequently their environment.

If I don't teach my children to see that things have qualities that help them serve their purpose in their best way, they will start to feel entitled to using their environment in any way that suits them, without regard to "petty" rules and laws. That is the last thing I want for my children.

As I thought about this, I realized that many people (myself included) are making their homes a giant playground for their children for fear of "stifling their creativity", and in order to let their children feel that the world is a "safe place". This view was taught to me when I was in school - change your environment so that the children can explore everything around them. I understand how this applies to babies because they are too young to know the rules, but, at the same time, that is why we are supposed to be watching them. We are supposed to be their safe zone, teaching them what is safe and what is not. (I'm not promoting forgoing safety measures for children, by the way). In turn, many children are growing up with a  real lack of respect for their environment (home, church, school, community, country) and it's inherent rules and laws.

We have come to the point that if our child makes a mess of things (not toys) and their environment, we smile and take a picture because they are being so "creative". What does that teach them really? It's something to think about.

This new understanding of virtue has also helped me as I evaluate the stuff we have in our house. What is it's function? What is it that it is meant to do? Do I have it to entertain the children? Do I have it to impress the neighbors? If it's virtue (or quality that makes it be) is not contributing to our family vision - then I do not need it in my home.
I've realized that an object is beautiful if it helps us reach our eternal goals - a love for God and His children, peace, family unity, a refined taste and desire for truth. Why bother with anything else? (No, really, if you can think of a reason - let me know :-) )

8 comments:

  1. Thank you for another great thought-provoking post. The truth really does make us free. I think I want to start reading the books you're reading.

    From a fellow homeschooler who is really looking at the principles of headgates.

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  2. I really like this principle of "virtue," but like all principles, I think the method of application varies, and should determined on a case by case basis. Manipulating our resources is one of the beautiful abilities of the human mind and body(for better or for worse)that sets us apart from animals. I think God is pleased when we use the resources he gave us to improve our environment and quality of life, without wastefulness or harm. For instance, what is the virtue of a tree? Or, rather, what "was" the virtue of a tree, as Adam and Eve might have seen it? And what would you say about that person who first cut one down and decided to build a house with it? Or make paper out of it?

    If my young children build a fort in the house as part of imaginative play, do I say that they cannot use chairs, because the virtue of a chair is that it should be sat in? Or that really, "the virtue of a fort is that it protects one from the elements and outside forces, and therefore, forts should only be built outside, using outside materials"...to a four year old?? Where do we draw the line?

    I enjoyed thinking about this while preparing dinner tonight, by the way. =) This is not meant to be an argument as much as...healthy discussion?

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  3. I was thinking about that as well Tricia - I think that one of the great things about being people is that we are the only living things that can decide what the virtue of a thing will be. The virtue of people doesn't change according to whim, but people can decide how things will best serve a purpose. God did say we had dominion over the things on the Earth. We use that dominion according to the inherent properties, or laws, of that thing.

    I think in a home - parents should decide what the purpose of a thing should be, but I think it is important that we give a thing as few possible uses as possible. It seems to give children a sense of order and boundaries, it gives them that sense of safety. It also teaches them to see that things are made with a specific purpose, or quality, and we should not attempt to change that quality unless we find a better use for it for our family (and not just for ourselves) with the permission of those to whom the object belongs.

    What do you think?

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  4. Also, I wanted to add that I let my kids build forts with blankets that I have given them for the purpose of play - so they are allowed to play with anything that I have deemed to be a "toy", and sometimes the will ask me if they can use a certain object for play and I get to decide if it's purpose will better serve the family as a toy - I just don't want to have a thing have too many purposes (for the reasons I explained above).
    I'm just figuring this out so I appreciate the feedback and discussion!

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  5. I love it. I also really liked this statement you made:

    "However, until recently, I hadn't stopped to consider that this child-centered view -that children ought to be allowed to play with anything as long as it is not dangerous - might be encouraging selfish and disrespectful attitudes in my children."

    I think that really clarifies why I need not feel guilty about telling them they can't cut up a stack of paper for now reason (yes, I've heard the scissors skills and they could be a paper cutting genius in the making argument), jump off the couch (no they aren't checking velocity and rate, they are 9), smashing watermelon up (because it's an 'experiment'), etc.

    I think we make a lot of excuses allowing our children to develop self-centered behavior. We don't mean too, but we are. It's important to be aware of.

    Thank you (again, for the 1,000th time)!

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  6. Thinking some more....and came back to say basically what you just said! It's important to teach what is purposeful "use" of resources, and what is "misuse." Is something improved, contributed, enhanced, discovered...created by what they are doing with or how they are using an object? Or is it pointless, destructive, selfish, wasteful (even of time or energy), etc.

    AND, do they have permission?

    It's an interesting idea to give an item as few purposes as possible- I need to think about that one. I do teach my children to respect things for what they are in our home, and I judge on a case by case basis whether or not a thing can be used for another purpose. I don't feel a need to specify a limit to purposes- and yet, as I think about it, I think my children all sense from me that there are indeed limits.

    Which brings up something else- I find that so many of the things you write about are things that I have done all along with my children, but have never philosophized about- not even with myself. As if I've been parenting solely on instinct all these years. But it's SO good for me to finally think a little deeper (or higher) about WHY I do what I do, or feel what I feel; to give structure to those sometimes nebulous instincts- and to ensure that I am parenting on purpose, with a plan, and an ultimate vision.

    Thank you for helping me to do this!

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  7. This is a great discussion! I am a creative person! I want to instill creativity in my children also! But one of the things I try to do with my children when the need arises to occasionally use something in a different way (for a specific purpose), is to discuss with them the reason that thing was created in the first place, and what it's intended purpose was. I want to teach them to respect the virtue around them, while giving them a little of that "make it do" perspective as well, so that their ingenuity stays intact. For me, this topic is one of those "Happy Medium" kind of things.

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  8. I just read a scripture that reminded me of this post. Alma 31:5 5 And now, as the preaching of the word had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just—yea, it had had more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else, which had happened unto them—therefore Alma thought it was expedient that they should try the virtue of the word of God.

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