Everyone Should Homeschool (or Examining Assumptions)

Everyone should homeschool?!  What kind of crazy idea are you promoting now, Karen?  Don't you know that all children are different and parents need to choose what is best for their children?  There are also unqualified parents out there.  Not to mention all of the positive things that take place in a school setting....

Yes, I know it sounds like a crazy, judgmental assumption, but do you realize that there is a different assumption that most people are not aware of, that determines how most parents choose to educate their children?  I happen to know that this is a prevalent assumption because it is the reason that I put my children in school when they were younger and the reason that several people I know also have their children in school.

The assumption is this:
Children should go to public school UNLESS they can afford private school OR they have a really good reason (a spiritual manifestation, unsatisfactory teachers, a negative school environment, or other extenuating circumstance) to educate their children at home.

That assumption doesn't sound as bad does it?  That's because it is the prevalent assumption in our culture.  Maybe it's a true assumption.  Maybe it isn't.  But shouldn't we examine it before making important decisions based upon it?  Maybe the assumption could be:

Children should be educated at home UNLESS they have a really good reason (spiritual manifestation, unsatisfactory parents, a negative home environment, or other extenuating circumstance) to send their children to school.

That one sounds strange to us, but does that make it wrong, or does that just make it different than what we are used to?  It's worth thinking about.  In fact, as parents, I think it is our obligation to think about it.  Why do I think this is so important?  Let me tell you.

First of all, I should say, that I know some phenomenal mothers who have amazing children who go to public school.  I also know some mothers who keep their children home who's children are not as well behaved.  Well, actually, I don't really know the latter, but I have heard that they are out there.  So this is not really a post about how everyone should homeschool (I just thought the title would evoke some emotion and people could think about how ingrained their assumptions are), but it's more about encouraging people to take a look at the presuppositions they may have about school and to examine them a little.

The reason I felt driven to write this post is because I have heard several complaints from good friends about the school system, but they keep sending their children as if it was just what you had to do unless you could come up with some really great alternative.  As I prod deeper, I find that many of them (not all) have certain assumptions and I don't always think those assumptions are accurate.  Since I don't think they would appreciate my telling them to homeschool (or I do tell them and we both laugh because we know I'm just crazy), I decided to write this post to at least encourage people to think more about why they are making their choices.

I am aware, as I write this, that I have plenty of assumptions that I am unaware of.  Feel free to point them out if you see some.  You may have noticed in my blog that I love noticing assumptions that I have and deciding if I really believe them or not.  I usually come to some conclusion and sometimes I am confronted with a new idea and I have to look again.  If you do disagree with me, I won't be offended, I'll probably just try to explain myself better or examine something I hadn't considered.  Discussing ideas is one of my favorite ways to come to a conclusion about what I really think.  I find that the closer I come to true ideas, the more joy I find in my life.  What an adventure!

Okay, so back to educational choices.  Here are some of the reasons I have heard about why people send their children to school that I think deserve closer consideration:

I don't have time to keep the house clean, keep up my various responsibilities, AND school my children.

This idea often arises from the mentality that we would have school-at-home. This is how I started homeschooling. Everyday we did math, english, art, music, history, science. I still know people that do this - and they seem happy with it.  I know that they don't really cover all of these things everyday at school, but I thought we could (it worked out on paper) and that it would be a good thing. This lasted a couple of weeks and I really had time for little else.   The kids were not very happy either. We would have kept it up though, if I felt it was really for the best, but it wasn't for us. We were mimicking a broken system (watch these (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6)and (part 7) videos if you want to better understand what I mean).

We had to step back and see if there was a better way to get an education. I re-read the Thomas Jefferson Education books and realized that there certainly was - a much better way AND it was a lot of fun.

Also, this time concern was probably a more valid reason in the days of washing clothes by hand, making your own butter, etc. We have so many modern conveniences that most of the things we fill our time with are not as important as the education of our children.

"I don't really want to be around my kids all the time. I need a break in order to be a better mother."

We all need time away from our kids sometimes in order to evaluate what we are doing, meditate, and to miss them. However, do we take this truth a little far? Do we need 8 hours a day, 5 days a week? People who really think so perhaps have not yet discovered the joy of motherhood. This would be a great reason to keep them home for a while - the more you are invested in something - the more joy you can get out of it.  Not that I wasn't invested in my children when they were in school - I found great joy in motherhood then as well. It's just that I have found even more joy since I decided to keep them home. Again, I'm not saying that is the best thing for everyone, but I just think it's something to consider.

Another thing to consider in this situation is that if you don't think your children are pleasant people to have around much of the time, perhaps it would be a good idea to keep them home for a while to teach them to be pleasant people to have around. Sometimes this seems like a daunting task, but it is possible and it is our responsibility. I recommend the book, A House United by Nicholeen Peck, and, of course, a lot of prayer, if you are struggling with this.

"I don't know enough to homeschool."

I have to admit that this reason worries me a little bit. I wonder if we have become so dependent on the government to provide an education for our children that we really don't think we are capable of educating them ourselves. It makes me wonder if our curriculums have become so complicated and abstract that the intelligent mother of a 10 year old feels that it is beyond her ability to educate her own children. Or maybe our public education system is so bad that those of us who have gone through it do not feel educated.

I know this is the case for me, I don't feel well educated. The good news is that I can find the answer to anything I want to know AND I have found that my children will educate themselves if they are curious - which they always are if they are allowed time to explore nature (instead of sitting in a classroom for 8 hours) and to read higher thoughts (which they have time to do now that they are not bogged down with busy work at school).

I know that there is a lot of knowledge to be had these days, but our children are not going to learn it all - no matter how hard we push them. It's not about stuffing their brains with facts and information - it is teaching them to find the truth in information and to use it. It is knowing how to think. Many schools today are teaching the opposite! They are teaching that we should disregard our "biases" or values and ideas when we examine a new piece of information so that the data can speak for itself (as if such a thing were possible). I see the reasons for attempting this in science, but we have taken it too far and started applying it to all knowledge. This is not a good thing.

Wow, it looks like I have more to say about this then I realized! No wonder I felt the need to get it out. I don't usually say anything about this unless I am asked for my opinion - which very rarely ever happens! I have even more to say, but this is plenty for one post! Maybe I'll write some more about it later.

I hope I have not offended anyone in writing this post. I just wanted to express my honest thoughts in hopes that it may help someone, who is struggling with their school situation, to consider that there are wonderful alternatives filled with joy and adventure. It doesn't have to be one way.

Are we still friends?