The Seed
Once upon a time there was a seed, not just a common,
ordinary seed. This seed shone brighter than the noon day sun. It was whiter
the whitest snow. If you could hold it in your hand, it would fill you with such
a sense of warmth and love that you would never want to put it down. This seed
was divine.
Being divine, this seed, or embryo, as it has also been
called, was also blessed with the gift of agency – of choosing whether it
wanted to grow to its full potential as a creator of beauty, love and
everything good - a king or queen of dominions and principalities - or into
something less.
This embryo was placed into the heart of the most wonderful
vessel that could be imagined and gave it life. This vessel was a body created
in the image of God! Your body. This miraculous gift came with great power to
heal, create, think, feel, sense and act. This was the perfect place to grow
the divine seed as it learned to use these powers as its parents used them.
Considering the magnificence of its parents, this growth was
no easy task. All of these new powers and sensations of the body sometimes felt
like an end in and of themselves. It was
tempting to feel for the sake of feeling, to taste for the sense of tasting, or
to think for the sake of thinking. In short, this body was drawn to do things
for itself and not for the divine potential within it.
This body was also made with matter less fine then the
spirit within it and it was easily distracted by other physical things. And to
honor its gift of agency, dark powers were allowed to entice it so that the
seed could make its own choices about its destiny without compulsion by either
side. These dark powers tried to get it to forget about or give up on its
divine potential.
Fortunately, this embryo was so precious to its parents,
that a great sacrifice was made to give it the power to connect to them on this
earth, through the merits of another. It could make this connection as often at
it willed it, despite its imperfections, and receive guidance and direction.
Through this exercise it grew in power and light.
And-so this divine spirit presses forward on its task to
become like its Heavenly Parents – to think as they think, feel as they feel,
act as they act – in other words – to love as they love. Among the precious
gifts it was given for this task was the gift of family.
Each family is unique – just like the divine spirits placed
within them. We all know that methods that work with one child do not
necessarily work with another, so I hope that the principles I felt to speak
about today will spark thoughts and ideas from the Spirit to your individual
circumstances. I can promise that if you listen to what he has to say to you as
I speak, you will come away with something you can apply that will be a great
blessing to yourself and those in your family. And though I will be speaking of
the home environment, these principles will work in any teaching environment or
any place of influence.
The reason I chose to start my talk (this post came from a talk I gave at church today) with an analogy about a
seed is because this visual really helps me remember my role as a mother. Like
seeds, children cannot be forced to grow and reach their potential. If I try to
pull or push them, I will do more harm than good to the tender sprouts. Instead, my role is one of a gardener who works
hard at making the environment the most ideal it can be to allow the divinity
that is already there to grow and flourish.
Each seed is unique and has been given particular talents
and gifts that will allow them to influence the world in their own special way.
We must stay close to the Spirit to know how to best nourish and support each
one, but there are some essential things that everyone one of them must have in
order to grow.
Soil
First, they need soil. It protects the budding seed from the
elements until it is strong enough to emerge. When it does emerge, it provides
nourishment and support. Elder Perry, in
the last general conference said, “Our homes must be holy places in order to
stand against the pressures of the world." There is so much noise
in the world trying to block out the subtle whisperings of the Spirit. If our
homes are also filled with the noise of the world, our family will find it very
hard to develop this most important
of all abilities. We must take the time
to turn off the TV and devices, pay attention to each other, and hear what the
Spirit would have us do to help one another. If our children are not practicing
this at home with those they love, it will be very difficult for them to
practice with the increased noise they encounter outside the home.
Are the television, internet, phone, and other devices bad?
No, they are simply powerful tools, but because of their power, we must be sure
our children are able to control them before we set them loose. We must ask ourselves
if we and our children have learned enough self-government that we will not be
governed and distracted by these potent devices before we let them into our home.
Elder Perry spoke of wheat and tares and how the enemy has "found as many devices as he can think of to scatter tares
far and wide. He has even found ways to have them penetrate even the sanctity
of our homes." He talked
about how the Lord is allowing them to grow together in these last days.
Learning to tell the difference takes much teaching and practice. This does not
mean that we let evil in so we can strengthen our children and ourselves against
it – this is false doctrine. Evil does not strengthen us spiritually. It is
fighting evil that gives us strength – the casting it from our homes, hearts
and mind. This desire to cast it out must be nourished at home through precept
and example.
My parents gave my kids a Wii several years ago. I wasn’t sure I wanted to keep it, but I was
persuaded to give it a try. We set a
boundary of 30 minutes of screen time each day (which included time playing the
Wii). I soon realized that the Will was too powerful an attraction even with this
limited exposure. It was in control of much of their thoughts. Each day was a
rush to get things done and passed off quickly in order to get to screen time. Since our thinking habits form into our
character, I did not want this to be the focus of their day. We explained the problem to them and decided
to limit screen time to once a week on the weekend. They often wanted to watch
a football game with their dad, or watch a movie as a family on the weekend, so
they chose to push the Wii aside. Pretty soon it was mostly forgotten, and now
it is only played on rare occasions when someone remembers it and nothing else
is going on. The device turned into
something we could use and not something that took over us.
Last year, my parents gave my older kids iPhones. I know many adults struggle with staying in control of these devices and not
being controlled by them. We set some time and site boundaries, talked about
how to use them for good and are now in the process of seeing how they are used
within the boundaries set. We are gauging if the older kids are self-governing
enough to use them as a tool or if the phones will start to take over. It is
important for them and us to stay vigilant and change boundaries and limits as
we see the need. We cannot let these things overpower our young tender plants.
If our kids seem to think too much of a favorite show, a game, or device – how
will they learn to hear the still small voice when their senses are craving the
stimulation of flashing screens, loud songs, likes on Facebook or the quick
thrill of accomplishment and success that they experience through games? They
must learn to be still and know God and his love – real happiness - well before
they can hope to control these superficial stimulants.
We must remember Elder Perry’s words:
“A steward managing the field must, with all his or her power, nourish that which is good and make it so strong and beautiful, the tares will have no appeal either to the eye or the ear."
Light
The second essential for a plant is light. The scriptures
teach that whatsoever is truth is
light and whatsoever is light is Spirit, even the Spirit of Jesus Christ. (Doctrine and Covenants 84:45)
So we must teach our children to be seekers of truth. This
life becomes a grand adventure when we learn the joy of seeking, finding,
applying and becoming more of the truth – ever growing in light and joy.
That is what an education IS. So many in our day think that
education is about getting a job and making money. Youth, listen up! You do not
get an education so you can get a job and make money! Money is Satan’s favorite
distraction to keep you from reaching your potential. You have been promised by
your Savior that you will have everything you need – physically and spiritually
– if your desire is to seek and follow Him (you will still have struggles along the way, but you will look back and see that the struggles were part of a beautiful plan for reaching your potential).
You must learn to discern between truth and error – even textbooks have
the point of view of their authors, and their motivations aren’t always good.
But you have the ability to discern what is true because of that light within
you.
Here is a pattern to help you, it is found in the scriptures (see Matthew 6:22 and Alma 32:33-43):
- Focus on better understanding God and His will for you in all of your studies and activities.
- This focus will fill you with light which will help you see clearly to discern the true in your studies - You will see his hand in history, science, art, even math (I might even say especially in math!) Because all things really do testify of Him. (Moses 6:63)
- As you find truth in all of these areas, apply it to how you live and think and as you do this, you will become more of that truth, you’ll grow in light
- This will feel delicious to you and you will desire more of it and will want to share it with others - so you will more diligently seek it. In other words, you will be filled with the Spirit (or INspired, and will be inspiringING to others).
- Learning will become sweet and joyous to you as you learn to value what God values, to think as he thinks and will long to do as He does. You will learn to love as God loves. And you will find, to quote Peter Pan, that to live IS an awfully big adventure.
Water
Now we come to water. We sometimes talk about filling our
cup before we can give of ourselves to others, but why settle for a cup? Why
not go to the source of living water and immerse ourselves in it? It is living
water, our relationship with Christ, that enlivens our souls.
Elder Height stated
that in these last days, “We are refreshed continually by an abundant stream of
eternal truth that, if obeyed, brings the living water of the Lord into our
lives”. Light is always there, we just
need to let it into our hearts through our focus, but water must be brought to
the plant. I have learned through sad experience,
that if I do not get into the habit of watering the plants that our sprinklers
do not reach, that they will die.
Similarly, we we must develop daily, weekly, and monthly
habits of nourishing our spirits. These
should include personal and family prayer and scriptures study, FHE, Sabbath
Day observance and worship, temple worship, monthly fasts, and other habits you
feel inspired that your family needs. Habits are extremely powerful, they are
away to use our physical bodies to nourish the divine nature within us. A
worthy habit is amongst the most valuable gifts we can give our children. We
all know it takes a great deal of effort and energy to establish new habits.
What a blessing it is if they are part of our family culture when we are
little. Even if we choose to give them up when we are grown, it is much easier
to reestablish an old habit then to start one from scratch. However, any
righteous habit that we make the effort to establish, is always well worth the
price.
Even personal habits can be learned in the family. We can
have family rituals that encourage and remind us of personal commitments. For
example, in our home, at breakfast time, we ask our children if there is
anything they can share from their personal scripture study. They know they
will get asked this every day and it encourages them to develop the habit of
studying their scriptures daily as well as getting something out of them that
they can share with others.
The habit of obedience is also taught at home. I mentioned
before that force does now help a plant grow, but providing an environment where
disobedience is given appropriate, calm, clear and consistent consequences will
help children understand the real freedom and peace that comes with obedience
and righteous living.
William James wrote a chapter on habit in his book,
Principle of Psychology (you can find it online). I loved that he points out
that taking action is also a habit. We can get into the habit of being inspired
and then not doing anything about it, or we can make it a habit to always DO
something after feeling inspired – even if it is something as simple as writing
a kind note – to get into the habit of having our actions follow our righteous
desires. I hope to develop the habit of always doing something to improve after
coming to church each Sunday.
Temperature
Which brings me to the last essential for nourishing a
plant: The right temperature. Warm season vegetables and most flowers grow
between 60 and 80 degrees Fahrenheit.
But I do know that the right temperature for nourishing
spirits is the temperature of peace and love. I often have to remind myself
that moments of frustration are not teaching moments. When our hearts are full
of contention, we cannot convey the Spirit – and the Spirit is what changes
hearts. Similarly, when the hearts of our children are filled with frustration,
it will be hard for them to let the Spirit into their hearts. The first step in teaching a child is my
repentance for my negative thoughts and feelings so that my heart can be
changed and the Spirit can teach.
The thermostat of your home is the state of your heart. If you heart is full of love and peace – it will be radiated to those
around you. They may fight it for a while, but love is the strongest power and
will melt away resistance and resentment with prolonged exposure. The most
important thing we can do is to keep our own hearts pure, cast away worldly thoughts,
desires and motives and let the Spirit fill it with love.
Easy right? No, parenting is not easy. Simple, maybe, but
not easy. Elder Perry said:
"It is my firm conviction that there has never been a period when our Father in Heaven’s children have needed the guiding hand of faithful, devoted parents more. We have a great and noble heritage of parents giving up almost everything they possess to find a place where they could rear their families with faith and courage so the next generation would have greater opportunities than had been theirs. We must find within ourselves that same determined spirit and overcome the challenges we face with the same spirit of sacrifice. We must instill in future generations an ever stronger reliance on the teachings of our Lord and Savior."
I bear witness that Christ died so we could succeed. Parenting
is hard work, but He will lead us along – line upon line, precept upon precept – and if we diligently
obey each step we are guided to and keep picking ourselves up when we stumble –
that we will have His peace and joy through the journey. That is the good news
of the gospel. And I testify that it is true.
No comments:
Post a Comment