High Expectations with Unfeigned Love

I ran across this great article today:
What do the scriptures and latter-day prophets teach about disciplining our children?
He mentions high and firm expectations along with unfeigned love.

If our hearts are not right toward our children, we may find ourselves exercising firmness without love or trying to be loving without being firm. For example, our “loving” firmness may become punitive and cruel rather than helpful. As a result, we may convey to our children a message of low expectations: “You won’t do the right thing unless I get after you all the time.” In this case we are giving our children harshness, not firmness.

Similarly, if we are overly permissive, our “loving” indulgence may also convey an unloving message: “If I don’t pamper you, you won’t do what’s right on your own.” What we end up giving our children in this case is indulgence, not love"

I found it interesting that constantly getting after our children for not living up to our high expectations is a form of showing low expectations - we don't believe they will live up to our expectations without our constant reminders.  It reminded me of a previous post I wrote about Keri Tibbet's parenting article.  It seems we should teach often, then give consequences when appropriate.

When I notice a wrong behavior, I need to ask myself, "What doctrine does my child not understand that he would act this way?" (See Elder Bednar's Increase in Learning).  Then I need to teach that doctrine often - not after they have misbehaved, but throughout the day.  Then when they get a consequence for a misbehavior, they will understand.


I'll give it more of an effort today.