"I am not feeling as much excitement about life as I used to," a young friend said to me yesterday, "I don't find excitement in the things that interest a lot of my friends, but I don't know where to find it." This young friend is striving to live the gospel and works hard at doing the right things, so why isn't she finding joy in her every-day life?
As I pondered this, I thought about my life. A lot of the things I do are mundane things that need to be re-done the next day. I don't usually have time to get to all of the things I want to do. There have been times, when I let myself sink into my feelings of "overwhelm," that I even feel despair. Those times are rare enough that I remember where I was standing, and what I was doing, when the feelings engulfed me, but they have been real. I am grateful for those moments because they have awakened me to the need I have to reach for God. I have felt like Peter when he noticed the waves and began to sink and cries to the Lord, who pulls him up and reminds him to have faith! The understanding that is awakened in me after I reach for God in these moments is worth the pain to get there.
She wasn't talking about despair. She was talking about boredom with life, but I think this boredom, if not dealt with, can often lead to despair. I began to ponder... why (though my life is often repetitive and involves a lot of cooking and cleaning) do I feel joy and excitement in it so often? I wanted to help her and I was looking for answers in my own experience.
I advised her to maybe try praying and asking Heavenly Father to guide her to something she could love doing and be excited about. But I wasn't completely satisfied with my advice. I continued to ponder on it this morning and I think I am beginning to see a little more clearly.
I realize that the joy I feel in life is the love of God. It really is what flavors my life with color and vibrancy. But this young friend has the love of God in her life. She reads her scriptures and tries to do what is right and finds moments of peace and light and joy. But it is not consistent enough to make her excited about it all. Why not?
I then remembered a vision spoken of in the Book of Mormon that a prophet named Lehi had. In this dream, he saw a tree with brilliant, white fruit on it - which was desirable to make one happy. He sees people pressing forward, holding to a rod (which represents the Word of God) and who partake of the fruit (which represents the love of God). They travel through a wilderness and a mist of darkness to get there, and when they do - it fills them with joy and light. Interestingly enough though, not all of them stay at the tree. Some people look around and see a building, suspended in the air, filled with people in fine clothes, apparently having a great time, who are pointing fingers and mocking them. They step away and are lost.
Apparently, it takes more than tasting of God's love to keep you near Him. What else does it take? I thought about what Lehi did, after he partook of the fruit. He looked around for his family and desired that they should partake of it to. I think that once we have tasted it, if we don't desire to share it, but instead keep thinking of our own happiness, we can get distracted with the cares of the world and get engulfed by them.
Not to say my life is always peachy, it is not, but I think this is why my life is so often filled with joy. I try to taste of the fruit in the mornings with my individual scripture study, writing and prayer. Then I strive to spend the rest of my day trying to create an environment where my family will be able to taste it too. Often they do, and the joy is sweet. It is the joy of missionary work.
I think this is the joy this friend was searching for. Sharing the truth she is trying to live will consistently rejuvenate her. But she also is in the time of life where her skills may have not caught up to her desires and thoughts (aren't we all?). She wants to connect with people and help them feel what she feels and know what she knows, but she doesn't have the communication skills to do so in a way that truly expresses her deep connections so that others will understand. Isn't that the frustration of every artist? To capture some truth on canvas, in words, in symbols? And we are all artists in our unique ways.
But I think that this is what can fuel our desire to work hard to understand, clarify and express our ideas. That is what makes life exciting isn't it? To connect to God - through nature, family, classic works - and then to share those connections with others. Isn't that why facebook is so popular? We long to share our connections of truth and joy with others? Well, maybe that is only one reason - another may be to get the praise of the world. We should examine our motives. But the former is much more fulfilling than the latter (having experience both motives at times, I know that one leaves you empty and the other leaves you full). One is for the glory of God and sharing his joy and love with others - it is real and tangible. The other is for the glory of self. People just aren't really willing to give you the glory you want because, frankly, you don't deserve it (God does)... I believe I am going off on a tangent now. I think you get the point!
So, to my friend, and anyone else with a similar struggle (me included). This is my advice: Keep looking for truth and finding connections. Then share them. You will be drawn to different ways to share, and you will lack the skills to do it properly (this blog is an example!) so seek for ways to improve those skills, but keep sharing as you do. The practice of sharing with whatever skills you currently posses, will improve your ability immensely because your studies will be filled with the Spirit. God will lead you along, put people and opportunities in your way, and you will find great joy as you grow in truth and abilities. This is what makes life exciting!
What do you think? Do any of you reading this have any other advice I could give my friend?
*Images taken from: The Magnifying Glass, Dramir Kinevkro gallery, Teach His Doctrine
No comments:
Post a Comment