Living After the Manner of Happiness

Pictures are from a couple of hikes last month

I have decided I want to live after the manner of happiness.  I was starting to stress out again (pregnancy hormones contributed, as well as getting lazy with my personal study time).  I start to worry about things like "grade levels" and age expectations, etc.  I wonder if I am not what is best for my children - maybe they would learn more at school, etc (you get the picture).

When I went to stake conference yesterday, a theme that seemed to keep emerging was living after the manner of happiness.  It woke me up again to those things that really matter.  A big reason I wanted to keep my children home from school was time, I knew there were things that I needed to make sure that they knew before they left my home (loving and serving one another, understanding how it feels to have the Spirit with them and to learn to keep Him with them, listening to His promptings, developing good spiritual habits, loving their fellowmen, developing a relationship with their Savior, scriptural literacy, strength of character or the ability to do hard things, sober-mindedness,  and other such things). 

I just didn't feel like I had enough time with them to make sure that they really understood these things.  I know there are people who are be able to send their children  to school and they are still able to have time to teach them these things.  I've met them.  I just wasn't one of them.  I tried.  I don't know how they do it.  For us, it seemed like when they were home for several days, we'd start to get focus on what really mattered and then I'd send them off for most of the day and when they got back we all lost focus again and playing with friends and homework became the focus of our conversation and their thoughts.

I just really want them to have a sure foundation, a steady focus, an eternal perspective before I send them out into that confusion-bombarded world.

The truth is, I don't have time or energy to do everything that they would be doing at school.  I have to focus my efforts on why I brought them home in the first place.  If they have a sure foundation - they will learn, voluntarily, all they need to learn in order to succeed in this life.  They will also know what true success is.

I'm not saying that I will not teach my children anything secular or academic.  Of course they need those things to understand things as they really are.  I will just have faith that, if I do my part and stay in tune, the Spirit will guide me as to what a particular child needs at particular times and in how to inspire them.  Spice wants to learn spelling so I'll keep working with her on that for as long as she needs.  Bud wants to write better, so we'll work on that as well.  Bazinks wants to read so we'll continue working on that.  Little Miss wants to read music and to draw better so I'll make sure to plan for that as well.  Interests will change, but if I stay in tune - I can know where to go with it everyday.  I just need to stay in tune.  I can not neglect the basics.  Nothing matters more to my progression... or theirs.  That seems a like a pretty heavy burden, but I just need to remember that the Savior promised:

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

That is living after the manner of happiness, I think. If I trust in Him and live His gospel the best that I can - I can have confidence that He'll make up the difference in what I lack and that my children will thrive under His direction. What a comfort that is!

The temple president at stake conference said that we learn to live the "manners" of heaven, or happiness, in this life and that a great place to learn those manners is in the temple. He also said that we need to acquire the right manners to stand in the presence of God. That is what I want for my home - a place where we learn the manners of Heaven - a refined heavenly home.

I love what Elder Hales said during the last conference:

When we follow the prophets’ counsel to hold family home evening, family prayer, and family scripture study, our homes become an incubator for our children’s spiritual growth. There we teach them the gospel, bear our testimonies, express our love, and listen as they share their feelings and experiences. By our righteous choices and actions, we liberate them from darkness by increasing their ability to walk in the light.

Why do I always forget?  No more neglecting the basics for me!