A Letter to Virtuous Young Ladies (a call to help the young men!)

Dear Young Ladies,

I am thinking of some specific girls that I know as I write this, but I would also speak to those who are like them. I know you to be women of goodness. I know you are examples of light to the people around you. You do much good in your circle of influence.

I write because I don't think most young ladies quite understand how much power and influence they have on the young men around them.

These young men have it so tough in the world right now. They are surrounded by billboards, movies, books, TV shows, internet, people that make them have to constantly battle unworthy thoughts that are put in their minds. The world tells them that women are for pleasure and for fulfilling selfish desires, while their divine nature knows that these women are God's beloved daughters.

To counteract the constant messages the world is sending them, they NEED to have young women of virtue around them. By seeing in you God's representation of women - living examples of pure, good, powerful, womanly beauty - they will gain the awareness that the images on the billboards are merely Satan's representation of women.

You can help them aspire to that goodness God has blessed you with, you can help them want to reach for higher things, instead of the baseness of lust and selfishness which the world tells them they want.

They need your friendship and example. They need to see that model of virtue within you. Oh how them men in this world need to see this! You have the power to help them want to fight for that virtue.

Please point them to the One who will raise them to become their best selves. If a young man is preparing for a mission, don't distract him by getting him to focus on you instead. He can't afford to loose that focus on God - don't be a tool in Satan's hands to entice him to do so.

Keep your conversations pure. Don't gossip and don't talk of romance or longed-for-relationships (aka. crushes). The time is simply not right. Yes, marriage is in their future, and they do need to seek a worthy young lady to be the heart of their home, but not yet. Right now his time is the Lord's until he is ready to commit to a young lady who is willing to progress on this journey with him. But the time for commitment is not yet. The difference between a friend and a girlfriend is the physical closeness one has a right to because of the commitment they have made. Do not temp young men to this physical closeness in any way, not even through "innocent" talk about crushes.

You are aware that your body has great power over the hearts and minds of these young men. It is tempting to enjoy that power and use it for yourself. You may not realize that EVERY time you do this, you are enticing a young man to base thoughts that, when indulged, will drive that Spirit away that they so desperately need. Don't be an enticement they constantly have to fight.

I once heard a young man say, to a group of young women, "Please be modest, it is exhausting being around someone who makes you constantly fight a battle in your head."

Modesty is more than the way you dress  (though it is important to dress in a way that does not draw attention away from your face - and tight clothes - even if they cover all the right places - do draw attention away from your face!). Modesty is also in the way you speak, and how you touch and look at a young man. Young women are often not aware of how powerful their touch is. Young men will be very aware of how close you are sitting by them and how often you touch them. Each touch can be a distraction, depending on intent.

I have seen too many young men with light in their eyes after a powerful discussion, or a motivating speaker, suddenly derailed as the young women in the group rush to tightly hug them goodbye.  Ladies, please, avoid tight hugs or close dancing. You may think they are just an innocent bear hug for a good friend, but those sensitive young men are feeling very aware of every curve on your body and to them it does not seem innocent. I promise. They think differently than you do. If they are good young men, they will try to refocus after this and put their thoughts in better places. Some might choose to indulge them for a while.

What sort of friend willfully throws a warrior into the middle of a battlefield?

Please don't ever use the gift of your body in a selfish way. Be modest. Do whatever it takes to stay close to the Spirit so God's virtue shines through you. Remember who these young men are. They are warriors in the most difficult battlefield there has ever been. Do not let your desire to be noticed or liked be a weakening poison. They need the power of your virtue to be the warriors God needs them to be.

With love,
A Mother of Warriors