Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Christmas Changes

You may have noticed that my blog posts are coming less frequently.  The biggest reason for this is that I am tired.  I just don't get up early enough to blog.  Lately, I sleep as much as I can before my baby wakes me up (between 6:30 and 7), by the time I give him his breakfast and read my scriptures, it's time to get started on our day.

I suppose I could try blogging during my free time, but I don't seem to have much of that lately either (plus, I kind of like to model what I would like my kids to be doing during their free time).  I think I'm lacking free time because I take too long getting things done these days.  I'm dragging a little.  I stall when it's time to fold laundry or clean the kitchen and instead I sit and talk with the kids or play with the baby.  These are good things, of course, but I could always talk with the kids as we work or play with the baby after the kitchen is clean :-)

Anyway, if this keeps up and I don't find some way to get some energy soon, and some brain power to write something interesting, I'll have to keep neglecting my blog somewhat.

I've written a little about how I'm trying to make the holidays more meaningful and more simple.  I've gotten some great ideas and book recommendations from people.  I think it is a process and we'll keep figuring things out each year that will work best for our family.
Spice at Dennys after her Temple Square performance.  She did so great.
I didn't get any of it on film or any pictures because they are not allowed at the Assembly Hall.


So far, I've decided to get rid of a few things I didn't love about the holidays and I've added a few that are more meaningful.

Here's what I got rid of:

-Stockings (I never liked trying to find "stocking stuffers" at the last minute and buying things and treats that I didn't want to buy).

-Making lists of wants or "Christmas lists" (It seems rather selfish, doesn't it, to sit and make a list of wants for someone to fulfill for you?  It definitely doesn't foster a spirit of thinking of others).  I will never again ask my children what they want for Christmas.  All it does is put selfish, entitlement thoughts in their mind that were not there before.

-Mailing Christmas Cards (except to a few people who don't use computers).  This one is a hard one because I love getting Christmas cards in the mail so it seems like I ought to also send some, but I have always been AWFUL about mailing things and this one was a really big burden on me because I didn't enjoy it.  Instead, we'll print some pictures for family and e-mail Christmas cards to everyone.

-Buying toys (we don't need any more, the kids don't want any more). See this thought-provoking post for even more reasons to stop splurging on toys.

(Sorry about the crazy camera moves on the following video, I was experimenting with how I could see Spice best). This was taken at the Prove Tabernacle's performance of The Messiah. In the front row, to the right, you'll see two girls in black.  The second girl from the right is Spice.


Here's what we have added:

-We've been reading stories and singing songs every night from a Christmas Advent Book that I read about in a couple of blogs.  I think misfitcygnet.com talked about it (but I can't find where) and Chocolate on my Cranium posted a link here.

-In addition to the Advent Book stories, we read from a Christmas book.  So far in December we have read A Christmas Carol, The Mansion, The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, and I'm sure there was one more, but I can't think what it was right now.  I think we might try Cricket on the Hearth next.  Does anyone have other Christmas classics they love?

-We've been reading the gospels where they talk about Christ's birth and early life and some prophesies from the Old Testament about Christ's birth for our morning devotionals.  We only read a few verses and discuss them.  The love that they have a lot of those verses memorized already from their choir songs.

-We've been memorizing The Living Christ.  We won't have it done by Christmas.  We had several weeks where we were too busy to get to it and a few in which I forgot, but we do have the first 3 paragraphs down so far :-)  We should, at least, have it all memorized by Easter!

-One of my friends from Heralders Choir gave me a candle with dots going down the side.  She said one of their favorite traditions is to light a candle every night in December and sing and read stories until the candle melted to the next dot.  The kids like lighting the candle every night, but we so usually keep reading after the candle reaches the dot.  It's a fun way to set the Christmas mood for the night.

-We'll be baking one kind of cookie and giving it to our neighbors (in the past I felt I had to have several different types on their plates, but since I don't enjoy baking, I'm going to go with one type so I'll actually enjoy doing it with the kids and I won't feel stressed out.)

-I've been looking for opportunities to serve in my circle of influence.  We've found a couple, but I would still like to do something that would get the kids more involved.

-The kids are making presents for each other.  We drew names.  Little Miss is making Spice a white skirt from this pattern that I think we might be able to handle.  Spice is making Little Miss a scripture bag and some hair accessories.  Bud and Bazinks are making BYU pajama pants for each other.  Of course, all of these projects will require quite a bit of my help so I'm still trying to decide if it was such a good idea.  I wanted to find someway that they would get into the feeling of giving away something that they worked hard for.  They are exited so we'll see how it goes.

-I did decide to get the kids some presents, but they are all things we would be buying in the near future anyway.  Spice is getting a bike, Bud is getting a basketball hoop (he sold his Geotrax train set to help pay for it), Little Miss and Bazinks are getting a scooter, and Ray is getting some booties.  I also bought two books for each child that can read.  Bazinks got a little basketball. I found some snow tubes at Target for $10 and since we don't have any sleds, I thought this would be a fun present so we could all go sledding on Christmas.  This might be their Santa present (if I decide to do Santa...I still don't know what to do about him - see below).  If it hasn't snowed by Christmas time, we might have to play basketball on Christmas instead :-)

-My mom gave me some money to buy the kids a present from her since she'll be in Naples on Christmas and she doesn't know what to get them.  I bought them some binoculars with it.  It will be so fun to explore nature together in this new way!

-In the past, we've spent Christmas day mostly ignoring the children because thy are playing with their new mindless toys.  This year, I want to spend Christmas doing things together, like sledding, as I mentioned above, or playing games and drinking apple cider.

-We'll be at Rock's family's Christmas party during Christmas Eve so we won't do much else that night.  The kids want to act out the nativity and we'll have a Christmas program with singing on Christmas Day.

-I might go rent the movie The Nativity.  I've never seen it, but it might be a fun way to wrap up Christmas day.   My friend, Tricia, recommended it.  She has other great ideas in this post.



I do want to do somethings next year that I didn't get around to preparing for in time for this year.

-I like the idea of the Advent Sundays (you can read more about them on the Advent Christmas Book), but I didn't find an advent candle holder so I'll keep a look out for one for next year or make one myself.

-I love this idea from a friends blog.  I'd love to incorporate it in some way.

-Tricia also mentioned doing a manger for baby Jesus and having the kids put straw in it when they do something kind for another.  By Christmas it should be ready for baby Jesus.  I couldn't find a manger this year, but I'll keep looking for one or find some way to make one for next year.

Now, about Santa Claus, I always enjoyed Santa as a child.  I like what he represents.  I'm just not sure what to do about him for a couple of reasons.  One is that our neighbors are getting a lot of presents from "Santa".  I don't want my kids to feel bad if they just get one tube!  Also, there are little things that just kind of rub me the wrong way.  Last Sunday, for example, someone gave a talk and she mentioned the Christmas cards her kids were writing to Santa at school.  She teaches at the elementary school for Hill Airforce Base.  One child asked Santa to help his mommy be happy while their dad was gone.  One asked him to keep his dad safe.  Another asked him to help him make friends when he moves to California.  They were sweet letters and they helped you remember those sacrifices that are being made for us at Christmas.  I just didn't like that children were asking Santa for such things when there is One who really listens, and who is really there and who will really answer their pleas.  I know that they were most likely praying to Him about these things as well, but does He really need a back-up?  And if they get their heart's desire - who will they think to thank?  It's just little things like that.  Or like the saying,"You better be good because Santa is watching you!" Or even worse "...so Santa will bring you presents".

I know that if our hearts are in the right place and we are focusing on Christ, and I don't make statements like the above, that Santa could just be a nice side note to the holidays and no big deal, but that doesn't solve the expensive presents dilemma and the disappointment they might feel if they  expect something from him that I don't want to give them or that I don't know about.  He's already not a big part of our holidays.  We haven't talked at all about him, so it probably wouldn't be a big deal if we just told them the truth about what he represents and why he is a symbol.  I can't quite bring myself to tell them though, so I don't know what I'll do yet :-)

So, anyway, that's what we have going for the holidays so far.  I better get going because we have some Christmas presents to make for one another and I'm already getting a late start on the day :-)

8 comments:

  1. I'm glad you were able to find time to get this post written! Thanks for the great thoughts on Christmas.

    My family right now consists of just my husband and I (no kids yet) so we don't have any Christmas traditions. I'm thinking this might be a good time to find some traditions that will be meaningful for us and that we can teach the kids about when they join us!

    I hope you have a wonderful Christmas. :)

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  2. Thank you for this post! No wonder you're tired those are some big changes-good for you.

    I think we'll eliminate stockings too, already got rid of Santa-just didn't make sense to teach about him and Jesus at the same time, seems confusing to me.

    I love the manger idea, I'd like to do that myself-one of these days.

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  3. We have been doing the story and song and scripture every night too and loving it. We also have been doing the candle. I hate reading by candlelight I'm sure it's straining my eyes, but ateast no one can see me crying through the story and the kids love it. When we have somewhere to go during the evening they get all concerned that they wont get to do the "Christmas devotional" It has made us all want to stay home and be together. You can't beat that. I think we'll do something different next year but along the same lines, something that keeps us home in the evenings enjoying being together.

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  4. Hearing about those letters to Santa would have bothered me too. However, I do think it comes down to what the children are being taught at home. There are many people who will turn to friends, therapists, magazines, blogs and even church leaders for strength and answers before they will ever turn personally to God. I think these Santa letters are another manifestation of that. I can't see my children ever writing a letter like that because they know that Santa is not Heavenly Father. Santa gives gifts. Period. Heavenly Father and Jesus created the universe and everything in it. They are the ones who answer prayers.

    When my children ask questions about Santa, I usually ask questions back: "What do you think about that?" They end up coming up with something that satisfies, and I'm always there to clarify if they turn him into something more than he is. (A symbol of giving and love). I don't teach them that he is REAL, I let them decide. They know about Saint Nicholas, but none of them are sure if Santa Claus is a real person, and that seems to be okay with them. It's okay with me. I'm watching and listening closely. The consideration of Santa is far less than the consideration of Christ in our home.

    If my children know people who've received numerous and pricey Santa gifts, I have suggested that they consider that some parents give these gifts to their children and put "Santa" on the gift tag. I ask them what they think Santa would do if he were real? Would he really be that unfair? Or is it more likely that the parents are pretending to be Santa?

    I know- the whole thing is tricky- which is why I had to ask myself the same questions about Santa. But seeing the twinkle in my little girls' eyes helped me remember that some things in life really are about the joy and possibility of imagination and creation- even in an idea or a symbol like Santa Claus.

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  5. Karen - I hear you on the lack of blog posts. Blame it on pregnancy brain! :-) I keep sitting down to blog something and then . . . I don't.

    One of my favorite Christmas classics is "The Family Under the Bridge." I just read it with the kids last year and LOVED it!

    As for Santa . . .he's not central at our house, but it's fun to believe. My kids have discovered "the truth" on their own but when they say, "I know you're Santa" or something, I just say, "It's fun to believe! If you don't believe, he won't come." I think there's just a magical element that his symbol brings to Christmas morning. And just tonight at dinner I realized I was talking to my husband about a couple of teachers who were trying to convince a 4yo that there was a Santa...oops, guess "the truth" is out. :-) If it's already not a HUGE deal at your house, I'm sure you'll be fine whichever way you go.

    Good luck and Merry Christmas!
    JULIA

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  6. Thanks for your thoughts everyone! It's nice to know such inspiring people.
    I think the Santa thing would be different if I hadn't been lying to the kids from the beginning. If I would have said "it's fun to believe" or just answered them with a question, but I deliberately mislead them and now I'm trying to backtrack. I haven't said much about it for a couple of years, but I have answered their questions truthfully when they ask, just in a way that lets them keep believing if they want to. That's probably what I'll keep doing. This year they had the idea themselves of writing Santa a letter telling them that they didn't need anything so to give them something very small so he could have more to give to those kids that do need it. We'll probably just go with that for now.

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  7. I love reading about how you're simplifying gifts. We've definitely gone the same road, looking for things that will help them further their talents and such. Some of them were fighting over a Toys R Us catalog at grandma's house, and I told them don't worry, you won't be getting anything listed in there. :)

    Hubby's grandma cross stitched all of us stockings over the years, and I requested a style that says "Marni Believes in Santa." I love the idea - giving without an expectation of return. When my kids have asked "the question," I tell them, yes, I believe, because anyone can be Santa. I read a story once of a grandmother giving her grandson money to buy someone something that really needed it (he chose something for a boy in his school class), then left it for him secretly. I love that.

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  8. That's wonderful your children would write a letter like that. Mine are not even close to letting him off in any way! I made a comment way back about having a small Christmas this year, so now they're convinced Santa is their only hope. =)

    And by the way, now that I've said I can't imagine my kids writing a letter like a prayer, I'm sure one of them will produce just such a letter any day now-- that's always what happens when I say things like that!!

    I guess you could say we're all outright lying when we put gift tags with "Santa" on them. Or eat the milk and cookies. Or sign Santa's name on the letter... It's one big adult game of pretend. In fact- I think that's how I'm going to approach it if I ever need to: "Most big kids and adults in the world are part of the Secret Santa Club- all pretending to be Santa (in the spirit of old St. Nicholas, who acted in the spirit of Christ) to bring happiness to children- and to enjoy anonymous giving." Something along those lines... that helps my older children realize they have left one happy, exciting stage only to enter another- just as fun in a different, more selfless sort of way. That's my rough draft of the "Santa talk" for now.

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