My Studies

I've been trying to figure out a way to get more serious about my studies.  It seems like when we are short on time - my personal reading/study time is the first thing to go.  Well, actually, it's the second thing to go, right after my exercise time.  I'm still okay with putting off exercise, but I really feel a need to do more studying.

I'm trying to figure out why I feel this sense of urgency so that I can make it more of a priority.  I don't want it to be a selfish pursuit because that would not enrich my life and it would just end up making me cranky at the interruptions which happen to be the most important things in my life (my family!)  If getting more study time for myself is going to be a good thing for our family, then I want to make it a priority and make sure I get it done.  The problem is that I really want to do it so it's difficult for me to figure out how much of my urgency is selfishness and how much of it is inspiration.

I'm writing this post to help me figure it out, so I'll be rambling - just a warning - it might not be very fun to read ;-)

Part of my urgency comes from the fact that I am frustrated with how little I know.  I'm starting to make some connections between events in history and how things go together, but it also has the effect of making me realize how very little I know.  I am finding that this thirst for knowledge is an exiting part of life, but that it's always going to be there - no matter how much study time I put in.  I learn and grow every day - not just from my studies, but from serving my family and pondering on what I've read as I do some mundane tasks around the house.  I also learn from playing with, teaching and talking to my children.  Life is an amazing education.  I can't let myself feel frustrated with it because it keeps me from studying other things.

However, in order to have things to ponder as I do mundane things around the house, and in order to have exiting things to teach and talk to my kids about - I need to make time to expand my understanding with other people's thoughts and ideas.  I'm just trying to figure out how much is too much and how much is enough.

I think another reason I feel a sense of urgency is that Spice is going to be doing some more intense studying soon.  She is already 10 years old and she is going to need some guidance in how to get a superb education.  I can't lead her down that path if I haven't been down that path myself.

I do regret all of the time I wasted in my youth!  I just don't have time to catch up on all of the learning I should have been doing in my first 20 years of life!  Motherhood has definitely increased my understanding and education exponentially, though.  Maybe I'm cutting myself short.  I probably know more than I give myself credit for.  However, I do think I need to at least know enough to guide her in the right direction on her path.  I don't need to have read every book that she will need to read, but I do need to know enough to point her in the right direction.  I need a broad experience with a variety of ideas in several fields.  I know for her (and for me), I need to have a general perspective of the great ideas of the past - particularly how they influenced culture and the art and ideas of their time.  I'm not really wanting to read a dry textbook about it all.  That is not the kind of excitement I want to convey to my kids. I want to have read the ideas themselves, felt the excitement behind them, and convey that to my children!

Time is an issue.  I have 5 little kids and I feel guilty pursuing more studies when I also want to make time to spend with them individually (obviously, since I homeschool, I spend a lot of time with them collectively, but I want to make time for them individually.)  Maybe it's time for me to implement my ideas about the Kid of the Day.  It's certain ideas that have been floating around in my mind, but  I haven't made them a priority either.  I think I really just need to make time for both (personal study time and individual time with each child) in order to make this work.  The tricky part is trying to figure out how much time I ought to spend on each of these things.

I suppose I need just need to start somewhere and adjust more or less time as I see the need.  I need to cut out the stuff in my life that isn't as important (I'm already down to pretty basic things, but I know there is still some time I waste that I don't even realize I'm wasting.  I check my e-mails too much during the day.  I'm in a lot of yahoo groups and many of the topics interest me, but I should probably not be tempted by it quite so much.)

Here's what I'll try:
1. I will continue studying my scriptures in the mornings - and get up early enough that I don't have to get behind schedule to do it.

2. I will study at least another 2 hours per day.
-I want to devote at least one hour during the day.  I know that this hour will have plenty of interruptions, because I plan to do it during the children's study and play time and they always have questions for me, but answering their questions teaches me - so I will still be studying - just maybe things I wasn't planning on studying :-)  This also means I'll have to say "no" to more activities outside the home, but that's okay since this is so important to me right now.
-I want to study for at least one hour in the evenings.  I do this already because this is the only time that I do not get interruptions from the kids, but it's also a good time to talk to Rock.  Fortunately, he's into reading also, so hopefully we can make time for both more consistently!  I'll have to be okay with watching an occasional movie because he likes those (it must be a guy thing) and he's been good about picking better ones lately (like classics).  Book clubs and going to the Temple will also count as study time.

3. I'll start implementing my Kid of the Day ideas (I'll write about those later).

4. I will only get on the internet 2 times a day - in the morning to check my emails and write a little and in the evening to check emails again, plan the following day, and look things up that are important (I'll have to keep a list of the things I need to look up so I don't forget them in the evening).

I think that's good for now.  I'll adjust the times if I see a need.  This is a good place to start.
I have a list of things I want to get started on studying!  I'll write about that later...I'm already behind schedule for the day!